Am I Sounding Like My Boyfriend?

Am I Sounding Like My Boyfriend?

Date: 2010.10.18 | Category: Chinese Language, Finnish-Chinese Relationship, Me | Tags:

Unfortunately yes. I had heard that people learning Chinese will start to sound like their Chinese girlfriend/boyfriend because that’s the person they are usually listening to. And I am no difference as I found out one week ago. One of my Chinese friends told me that when I speak Chinese I sound really much like my boyfriend. But why is it a bad thing?

First of all my boyfriend isn’t the best example for me. Mandarin Chinese (putonghua) is his third language and his pronunciation is far from standard. His native language is Yangjiang dialect (yangjianghua, branch of Cantonese) and the second is Cantonese (guangdonghua). Both really different from putonghua.

Second, girls and boys usually speak in a different way. I remember reading one topic on a forum (forgot where and couldn’t find it now) about how one Western guy ended up sounding like a Chinese girl, because he practiced his Chinese with her. Just imagine American football player talking in a girly way. So how am I going to sound like?

I know that I will end up having a really nice southern accent in my Chinese and when I go to Beijing they will probably laugh their heads off. Like the girl in a local restaurant who asked: “Is he your boyfriend?” And after telling her yes she continued giggling: “Oh, I am so excited. So excited.”

I don’t mind having an accent because it gives it a little bit more flavour. But should I get a new friend with Beijing dialect to balance it a little bit? One thing I know. I will not speak erhua (Beijing dialect with a lot of R) because it would sound really stupid here in Guangzhou.

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http://www.speakingofchina.com Jocelyn

I love this post, Sara! Reminds me of my husband and I, because everyone tells me I speak Chinese a lot like him. Is it a bad thing? I guess it depends on the accent. On the other hand, the Beijing dialect is kind of hard and sometimes the words get lost in all of the “er” sounds — so sometimes it’s good to speak a flavor of Mandarin that’s not 100 percent Beijing dialect. Just my two cents.
Jocelyn recently posted..A Red China State of Mind- in an American Red State

[Reply]
Sara

Thank you for commenting Jocelyn. I think it’s nice to be little bit special with a non standard accent. It would also be interesting to learn just a little bit Yangjiang dialect, just to impress the relatives. What is your husband’s dialect?

[Reply]
SAM

hahaha… that’s why i never teach my partner Chinese… since i dont want her to pick up my horrible cantonese accent…. Anyway, she is too lazy to learn Chinese as well…….

[Reply]
Sara

SAM, I’m sure it is not that horrible :) Well, I don’t have a choice because Mandarin is the only language I can communicate with my boyfriend.

[Reply]
http://www.my-new-chinese-love.com Jeff

I understand where you are coming from, Sara. When I first started learning Chinese from mp3 recordings, they were all the “erhua” Beijing dialect. Of course, when I showed up to visit my girlfriend and her friends in Shenzhen, they all laughed whenever I made the “r” sound. Glad to hear that you realized the difference in advance! :)

I proudly have a Sichuan accent now, thanks to my Chinese girlfriend (now wife). I know I don’t sound perfect – but for me, the main thing is that her friends and family understand me :)

Thanks for this post, Sara.
Jeff recently posted..Chinese girls six cures for homesickness – featuring Crystal Tao

[Reply]
Sara

Thank you for commenting Jeff. Thank you for telling about your experience with imitating someone’s accent. I could totally see people laughing here in Guangzhou if I would speak erhua :) And as you said, it’s not necessary to be perfect, more important is that people understand you.

[Reply]
http://harristlo.blog.com Harrist Lu

Hi Sara,

I think you dont need to care about so much what people think of your Mandarin. You know it takes time for peoople to learn. For example, it takes me long time to speak good English, German and Spanish.
Well so you just keep on practice and if everyone can understand you, then it is very good. But about the so-called accent, it is up to you to choose the one that you like. The freedom to speak and the freedom to choose are more important than anything.

[Reply]
Sara

Thank you for commenting Harrist Lu! It is absolutely right that the most important thing is that people understand me. But sometimes it looks like they don’t even understand my boyfriend :) Is it common that Chinese people have communication problems because their accents are so different? (Even they are speaking putonghua)

[Reply]
Harrist

well, sometimes, but it is not a big problem for chinese people to communicate with each other because of the difference of accent. But some people from the North, they think that Guangdong people can not speak good mandarin. Only some can not, but other they speak very good. I am also from Guangzhou. But i think cantonese people can also speak very good Mandarin.

[Reply]
Sara

Harrist, I hear a lot of Cantonese people speaking very decent Mandarin. And that is a good thing for me! If they would only speak Cantonese down here, I wouldn’t be able to survive in daily life. Or what worse, would be forced to study Cantonese ;)

[Reply]
Beth

Hey there! I never chat to you on QQ anymore. You and your BF are so cute together!! Awww!
I think picking up the bad habits of local dialects is pretty bad. :P Make sure you watch lots of Chinese TV to correct it! Haha! I agree beijing dialect will sound stupid in GD. Haha. But with the Cantonese there is too much flavor to be added down South, I suggest TV to keep it neutral. :P
<3333333333

[Reply]
Sara

Hi Beth! I haven’t used QQ too much recently. Because have been little bit busy and then my boyfriend is using the computer too often :) Actually I started watching one funny show about a family with crazy people in it. Take care Beth!

[Reply]
http://pagesofinterest.net/blog/ Mike

I used to find it difficult making myself understood, one day an acquaintance told me it was because I spoke like a girl… Seems to have worn off now, but it was definitely because I mainly practice with my wife.

It takes time to settle into a natural tone with Chinese, we 2nd language speakers struggle so with the tones it’s easy to ignore other aspects, like volume and intonation. At least that’s how it has been for me.
Mike recently posted..Triple Boot XP BSOD

[Reply]
Sara

Thank you for commenting and telling about your experience Mike! I would like to find my own voice. Like when I’m speaking Finnish I sound like me. But I’m afraid that when speaking Chinese I will sound like someone else. I no people that tend to have a pretty funny way to speak Chinese. Their voice seem a little higher than usual.

[Reply]
C

WHen spoken with a the “ER” SOUND, i can hear a beautiful stream of poetry weaved out of the spoken dialogue.

the cantonese speak mandarine with a flatness and bluntness. it becomes ‘tasteless’ and contrived.

[Reply]
Sara Reply:
January 18th, 2011 at 10:00 pm
You really like erhua so much? I think I have pretty nice cantonese/southern accent in my putonghua already, but it’s fine for me. I happen to live in Guangzhou so why not have an similar accent with them? Well, of course I want to improve my pronunciation as much as possible, but little bit flavour isn’t bad.

[Reply]
Mike Reply:
January 19th, 2011 at 5:37 pm
The ‘er’ reminds me of pirates…

[Reply]
Sara Reply:
January 22nd, 2011 at 8:46 am
Pirates? That’s interesting Mike.

[Reply]
Anqing

Hi Sara,

No big deal on accent. As a chinese student who is studying in Australia for 6 years. I have a really funny Chinese and Aussie combined English accent. It works just fine.

[Reply]
Sara Reply:
February 8th, 2011 at 10:16 am
Thank you for commenting Anqing. I agree that most important is that other people understand you. My English accent isn’t that good either but have never stopped me using the language. My friend recently said that my spoken Chinese is ok, but my accent just isn’t quite putonghua. I told her that I don’t mind since I live in Guangzhou and I’m surrounded with Cantonse people. Sure I wan’t people in other parts of China understand me too, but a little bit flavour isn’t bad. It would be interesting to hear how Chinese + Aussie accents fit together.

[Reply]
Anqing Reply:
February 9th, 2011 at 1:00 am
how Chinese + Aussie accents fit together?

It is like eatting pasta with Hoisin sauce. Awkward but delicious.

[Reply]
Sara Reply:
February 10th, 2011 at 10:05 pm
I love your definition!

[Reply]
Pingback: Rate My Chinese! (Audio clip included) | Living A Dream In China
http://ilovemessages.blogspot.com/ Love Messages

Well, i must say u look beautiful..
i like your hairs..
Love Messages recently posted..Learn How to Get Rid of Puffy Eyes

[Reply]
Sara Reply:
May 19th, 2011 at 5:38 am
Oh, thank you. But in reality I think I’m quite average.

[Reply]
Iam Angelou

i respect your story very much as i am in love with someone who is Chinese who speaks
Mandarin and English, and I guess the one thing important is the dialect your speaking really gonna be an issue to put a doubt in a relationship.

if i was to learn Mandarin it would be unusual because like you question I may sound like a guy, but I would be proud of it because I’m learning a language by someone I love, trust and respect .

so in my opinion I wouldn’t care how i sound because first of, your yourself and you decide who you are or sound like and be proud from someone you are close to or in love to.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
May 12th, 2012 at 9:44 pm
Thank you for your comment! You have a good point there. It doesn’t matter if someone sound like their boyfriend/girlfriend, the most importan thing is to be able to communicate.

[Reply]