Recently Timo at Crazy Chinese Family once again shared a story of his mother-in-law and My Hong Kong Husband shared how her first week with the Momzilla went. I even left a comment saying how my MIL is very reasonable and there haven’t been that many disagreements between us. But today it’s time to share a story of my very own crazy Chinese mother-in-law!
First just to be clear, I know Chinese mothers use cooking/cleaning/washing clothes for showing their love, instead of just saying I love you. But that doesn’t mean I sometimes just so hope she would rather say those words.
Since we have been living in our own at the old family house, my husband’s parents occasionally bring us soup, fruits or even meat. Once the fridge has been moved from one place to another and yesterday one of our cats was accidentally closed inside our bedroom for hours. Bringing food and (in their opinion) improving our livelihoods is their way of taking care of us and as we still have our own space, I didn’t think twice about it.
Today was something completely different! I came home, opened the fridge and saw paprikas, tomatoes and cucumber inside. I checked the freezer and there was both beef and pork. I though, ok, if this is how Chinese parents tell their kids they love them, I should just be grateful and say thank you.
But then my mother-in-law comes in with our bedding! When did she took those out and washed them? I took the bedding from her hands and tell her I will put them on later today, as I had other things to do at the moment. In reality I just wanted to do that alone by my self, not while she was watching me. She refused and pretty much kicked me out of my own bedroom!
Then I noticed the curtains she had made for the bedroom! I had told her, that I have a certain taste in decoration and will buy curtains when I find suitable ones. Now she went ahead and did those her self from old curtain fabrics.
When she left, she told me not to tell my husband that she has been at our home. She knows her son doesn’t appreciate all of this. But how could Alan ever think those curtains were my idea!
I don’t know if this all sounds like a loving mother to more traditional Chinese kids, but me and my husband value our privacy and our own space dearly. We are the ones that should decide when to wash our bedding, what curtains to buy and if we let our cats sleep in the bed or not.
From my mother-in-law’s point of view she is probably just being the mother of the year, but from my point of view this all tells that I’m not capable of taking care of my own household! As a contrast when my own mother was staying here in May, she came in and said to me “Sara, just tell me if there is something I can help with, I don’t want to intrude in your own home”. Guess which kind of parenting I feel more comfortable with?
What do you think? Is it too much to ask that our home would look the same when I leave the house and when I come back? I don’t really like these surprises when you never know what you’re going to see in your own home after a long day of work or school.
You might ask what my husband recommends us to do, well, he said we should change the locks!