On Dating Chinese Men

February 19, 2013 /

Me and my boyfriend in our matching t-shirts

Last month Jocelyn over at Speaking of China wrote On Dating Chinese Men and asked us fellow bloggers to do the same. Her goal is to gather us mus reliable information about dating Chinese men as possible, so when others are searching it online they will get a better picture what is it really like to date a Chinese guy.

I dated a Chinese guy back in Finland already and have been living in China for three years now. I dated one Chinese guy for two years, but it wasn’t meant to be. Right now (October 2013) I’m living together with my Cantonese boyfriend and his parents. We are in the process of renovating the old family house for us.

The following tips are based on my own or my friends’ experiences.

Date to marry

Goal for a Chinese person to date is to get married and have a family. Of course there are exceptions to this rule, but most of the Chinese men out there date to marry They might start talking about it very early in the relationship in order to know if you have the same ideas about dating as he does.

Usually if you meet the parents it is a sign of a serious relationship, probably this guy wants to marry you if things continue going well with you.

Parents have the final say

Wether your Chinese boyfriend will continue to be with you or will marry you depends on his parents. If parents say no, then it usually is the end of the relationship sooner or later. You two might be able to work it out with the parents when they get to know you better, but parental acceptance is important even when both are Chinese.

If you two are 25 or older and the parents agree you being together, they will start asking when you two get married. When you get married they will start waiting for a grandson.

Taking care of you

Chinese guys are generally good at taking care of you, or at least a good Chinese man is. He might cook for you, or make sure you always have water to drink. Or he might go shopping with you and insists paying for everything. Chinese man is expected to and wants to take care of his loved one, to be the breadwinner of the family. It might be hard for him if his girlfriend earns more than him.

Language difficulties

Even if you speak fluent Chinese or he speaks fluent English you still might have language difficulties in your relationship. Perhaps his native language is a dialect of Chinese and you can’t understand a word they are saying in the family dinner table?

Or perhaps your Chinese is as terrible as his English but you want to make it work anyway? Be ready for lot of work and mutual understanding and patience to have a successful relationship. If necessary learn the local dialect in order to communicate with his family and relatives.

The good and the bad

I’ve got my heart-broken by a Chinese guy, I’ve already felt the happiest with a Chinese guy. Dating someone outside your culture, especially from such a different culture as Chinese culture is, it isn’t easy. There will be hardships, misunderstandings and compromises has to be made, more than if you dated and married someone from your own country.

But at the same time you get a man who wants to take care of his family, is willing to work hard for everyone’s happiness and loves kids. Someone who knows why he is dating you and will let you know it too. Someone who haven’t even heard about commitment phobia.

So should you date a Chinese guy? Why not! If you meet a great Chinese guy then go for it, don’t let the stereotypes or someone’s bad experiences hold you back.

Are you dating a Chinese man at the moment? Or dated one but it ended? I would love to hear about your experiences on dating Chinese men!

For more blog posts on the topic, check out Dating Chinese Men and Chinese Family life.

127 Comments

Ellen

February 21, 2013 at 12:26 am Reply

Hi Sara,

I’m so happy you posted this. I am also following Jocelyn and I think she asked for such posts, because Internet is congested with awful stories about dating Chinese men… which are based on stories taken place in Shanghai or Beijing and hence are rarely veracious. However, these two metropolitans and people in there, just like with any other big city, do not (!!!) represent a “typical Chinese”, “typical dating manners” or any other aspect of life. People often forget that China is HUGE and DIVERSE. There are huge differences in China itself.

I’m dating a classical Guangzhounese. This relationship certainly is a fairytale, similar to your relationship: he takes care of me in ALL possible and impossible ways, cooks for me, makes a cup of tea (even when I don’t need it), brings me an extra pillow even from another part of town, stays up late with me when I need to study. When I started dating him, I freaked out. I thought he’s insane :P Later I got used to it. But not completely. After a while, I raised a question: if you cook and do the shopping and take care of me, then what’s MY role in this relationship?? Be the princess on the pea? We made a compromise: kitchen is now my sacred area! :)

However, I would like to stress now: not all Chinese men are very caring like this (!!). We happened to visit one of his best friends, who’s from the North of China. When she saw us together, she was shocked and asked my BF, “Why are you like a puppy around your girlfriend??” Then she gave us insight into her relationship. That relationship resembled me rather a Western relationship: both partners are ambitious, independent and in case of conflicts wins that one who has better arguments. There’s no such thing like the man forgets himself, leaves his tasks in the name of his beloved one.

In short, China is diverse and so is dating behaviour in China. The attitude of a partner in the relationship can be “independent” and “egoistic”, but most probably it will be “I will do anything to make my girlfriends/wife happy”.

As for language differences, then in our case yes, sometimes we can’t find the right word to express a thought, but since we can “read” each other’s mind, then that’s not a big obstacle.

Finally, as for South Chinese men, then they take things seriously. Like you, Sara, said, Chinese men “date to marry”. They don’t have “commitment phobia”. Neither have they problems with ‘dating techniques’ (do I have to bring flowers? Do I play a tough guy or a soft guy? What shall I say? What.. How…). That’s because their (Chinese guys) prime goal is to take care of a woman and not to play intriguing games like most of men in the West do.

That’s my experience. Sorry for being wordy.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
March 8th, 2013 at 8:56 pm
Thank you so much on sharing your experiences and wisdom Ellen! I’m so glad that through these comments from you and others we can all learn a lot about dating culture in China.

[Reply]
Alysa Reply:
September 25th, 2013 at 7:29 pm
Aww your relationship sounds like almost every girl’s dream :) I’ve met a few sweet Chinese guys, but I feel a bit too independent and like our cultures are too different to make anything work…

[Reply]
Leo Reply:
February 15th, 2015 at 2:43 pm
that depends on person, unlike me, I’m looking for an independent companion but fail to do so, all the chinese women I met, no matter how independent they seems, but deep down they all want to be a princess, let her man do everything for her so she can do whatever she likes but not to worry about survival part, but I think survival should be both party stand together and face it together, so that we can become ‘one’

[Reply]
theguy Reply:
July 21st, 2015 at 12:23 pm
You ladies should get on your knees to thank that your good husbands/boy friends have chosen you. Don’t pretend it’s so easy to find a good man in Western countries.

[Reply]
Julie Reply:
October 25th, 2016 at 11:09 pm
My child you are welcome to Dr oni spell temple a temple were all problem is solved with the great power of dr oni and my ancestors. My child my spell is fast and very active and without any consequences, i don’t charge for my spell all you need to do is the buy the items needed for the spell to bring your lover back okay so all the items will cost you $120 that all my child okay. If you are interested let us know okay i assure you in 48 hours time your lover will return to you with much love and care.

BYEEE

[Reply]
FrankL 世方

February 22, 2013 at 4:34 am Reply

Hi Sara, sorry to hear things didn’t work out with your boyfriend. Break-ups are never easy. 保重。

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
March 8th, 2013 at 8:54 pm
Thank you Frank. Things didn’t go down easy, but I wrote about it only after having processed it myself. I’m doing very well now.

[Reply]
Mira

February 22, 2013 at 10:09 am Reply

Honestly in traditional Chinese culture, women have to do every house work(also in other Asian cultures). And hence Chinese men tend to let their wives to cook for them all the time. I think you have to be very lucky to find a boyfriend that would like to share the house work. And even if they do, it’s not guarantee that they will do the same after marriage. And many Chinese guy don’t know how to cook or they don’t do cooking. At least my Dad and most of my guy friends don’t cook. So I always feel jealous about friends whoes dad actually cook better then their mums! :P

[Reply]
Derek WONG Reply:
November 19th, 2013 at 1:39 pm
It’s weird to hear you get that conclusion.For me,I’m coming from the mid of China.Most of the guys I know can cook,but most girls I know can’t cook.And the young males in China nowadays tend to be more caring and responsible.Many men would like to share the housework now even they are the only bread winner in the family.Of course,most of the couples both have a job.Women in China don’t have to depend on their husbands like ever,so when it comes to the decision in the family,the husbands are willing to listen to their wives.We always joke with our friends,because their wives are the bosses in their family,lol.

[Reply]
Jocelyn Eikenburg

February 22, 2013 at 1:56 pm Reply

Thanks for posting this — despite your breakup! I know it must still be painful for you. But for you to still come forth with such a supportive post…that’s amazing. So thank you, Sara.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
March 8th, 2013 at 8:52 pm
No need to thank you Jocelyn, I’m happy to help the community!

I’ll also let you (and others) in a secret, although I only recently wrote about my break up, it actually happened many months ago. Only after I processed it myself was I able to write about it.

[Reply]
Jenna Cody

February 22, 2013 at 2:01 pm Reply

This is an interesting post, but I have to say that, in terms of “typical” Chinese men who would fall into all of these categories (I realize there are exceptions), there are plenty of things in here that would make it impossible for me to date a typical Chinese guy (an exception – sure! And I know plenty of exceptions. I’m married, though, so it doesn’t matter).

I wouldn’t be OK with parents having the final say – especially if they accepted me but expected marriage on their timeline, and then expected a grandson (the “son” part is so sexist – I realize it’s cultural, but it’s also sexist). I don’t have babies on other’s timelines, and at the command of others. In fact, I don’t want children at all – I know a few Taiwanese (not Chinese but bear with me) men who also don’t want kids, but this would probably be a dealbreaker with most.

I wouldn’t be OK with a boyfriend or husband who felt it was his right or duty to be the breadwinner. I won’t curtail what I earn, and I am quite happy to be the breadwinner (if I’m not, that’s OK too) – the issue would be the idea that man = moneymaker, woman = cared for by the man, regardless of who earns more. I don’t like that paradigm and could never accept it. A man who is uncomfortable with his wife earning more than he does isn’t the man for me (my husband is fine with it, by the way).

Although this is changing, I’m also not OK with being the one mainly responsible for housework and the gruntwork of child-rearing. Still an issue in much of China and Taiwan even as urban China and Taiwan change.

So, while this is a really interesting post…it sort of outlines why a Chinese guy who does adhere to all of these traits (I am aware, again, that plenty don’t) isn’t the guy for me.

[Reply]
Rosie Reply:
March 6th, 2013 at 10:48 am
I have to disagree with some of this, particularly in the case of child-rearing and housework. I think it’s unfair to paint Chinese men as unwilling to do these duties. That’s actually not what I’ve witnessed having lived in China and being married to a Chinese man for several years. I actually find that Chinese men are just as helpful, if not more so, then American husbands. Chinese women/mothers also receive a lot of support from parents and in-laws when raising their child.

As far as the desire for a son, this is common in many cultures. Even in most Western ones, I dare say many men hope they can have a son (although many don’t voice this feeling). I have struggled with this attitude, but when it comes down to it and a baby finally arrives, I think everyone is quite happy regardless of the sex.

And I don’t think it’s unnatural for a man to want to earn more money or not feel like he has to be supported by his wife. I think this is magnified in China due to the whole concept of “losing face.” In any case, I do earn quite a bit more than my Chinese husband and while I know he wishes he could earn more, this isn’t an issue because we don’t make it one.

Honestly, I think the points Sara brings up are true but they are generalizations. It’s good to know they might be issues you’ll face if you date a Chinese man, but you need to get to know the individual

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
March 8th, 2013 at 8:38 pm
Thank you for your excellent comment Rosie! You’re right, the points I brought up are of course generalizations, if I couldn’t generalize a little, then writing this post would be impossible. No matter in which culture, person is still an individual and might or might not be similar with the common generalizations about that culture.

[Reply]
Kai Reply:
March 14th, 2013 at 11:45 am
As a chinese guy I also want to say that according to some survey we have 180 million single guys in china…so it won’t be a surprise that we still have many many “exceptions” :D.

About “Parents have the final say”, I think for many chinese guys, their parents ideas are quite important but they don’t actually have the “final say”, especially for people living in big cities like Guangzhou, Beijing, Shanghai etc.. If the man is determine to marry a foreign woman, he will try every means to persuade his parents.

Actually, what most chinese parents worrying about is the distance, if the couple decide to live in china (or even better, the same city as the chinese man’s parents) after they got married, a foreign daugther in law won’t be a problem at all to most of the parents. After all, the chinese people are more family oriented.

As I know, most parents don’t really care about the sex of their grandchildren nowadays, except for some really TRADITIONAL familie.

[Reply]
Julie Reply:
October 25th, 2016 at 11:08 pm
My child you are welcome to Dr oni spell temple a temple were all problem is solved with the great power of dr oni and my ancestors. My child my spell is fast and very active and without any consequences, i don’t charge for my spell all you need to do is the buy the items needed for the spell to bring your lover back okay so all the items will cost you $120 that all my child okay. If you are interested let us know okay i assure you in 48 hours time your lover will return to you with much love and care.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
March 8th, 2013 at 8:50 pm
Thank you for your comment Jenna! Not all the Chinese guys are like this, but many are. It’s also good to know if their style of dating/relationship isn’t for you. There can be many cultural clashed between a traditional Chinese man and a modern independent Western woman.

[Reply]
Adesia

February 22, 2013 at 8:56 pm Reply

i have dated Chinese men before I think they must have been the exceptions, because up until the one i’m dating currently they didn’t really act too much like that. This one is different we havent even been dating that long and already has invited himself to meet my family next month, planned vacation the following month. And for my birthday has bought me a matching watch to his.

Hummm maybe the serious man you speak of? Its a nice change , perhaps that is the bonus to dating someone 5 years older to you.. I guess we will see.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
March 8th, 2013 at 8:49 pm
It really sounds like this man likes you a lot! Planning to spend time with you and giving gifts are good signs. Based on my experience a Chinese guy can get serios quickly if he has decided on a girl already, he will let you know that he wants to be with you.

[Reply]
einnius

February 24, 2013 at 12:00 pm Reply

where r u

[Reply]
Alysa

February 24, 2013 at 12:21 pm Reply

I have lived in Guangzhou for 13 years, and Chinese guys don’t seem interested in me at all. I assumed they don’t like American girls or I was just ugly? However a few of them overcame their shyness cause I’ve had a few asking for my number lately. It’s too bad the ones who aren’t shy are shorter than me! And the foreigner guys aren’t interested either, probably because getting a Chinese girl is so much easier. Do I have to move back to the US to date?? ;P

[Reply]
Someone Reply:
February 28th, 2013 at 8:05 pm
It’s not you. It’s a different dating environment and culture. You’re probably sending the wrong signals and probably aren’t picking up on his. Learn from the locals how interactions between the sexes should go. Don’t go into another country with an idea of cultural or romantic imperialism (foreign men are most guilty of this) expecting everyone to behave as you expect, speak your language, and romance you in the way in which you are accustomed.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
March 8th, 2013 at 8:46 pm
Hi Alysa, I would say that shyness is one of the biggest reasons here. A Western girl might have to take the first step herself in order to get to know guys. I bet those Chinese guys were thinking the same thing, that you aren’t into them.

[Reply]
Single man Reply:
July 19th, 2014 at 4:42 pm
As a Chinese guy .Here I want to clarify two issues,one most of chinese youth cant speack english ,maybe they can write ,read and sing some songs .Another reason is the shyness
If you watch and observe the ppl aroun u in the metro ,u will get it .
Basically ,those guys who r dealing with foreigners r more positive …

[Reply]
showlex Reply:
May 16th, 2013 at 9:06 am
Alysa, if you like a Chinese guy, you can go talk to him. He’ll be happy to chat with you, trust me. Some guys are shy and don’t tend to go to foreign girls and ask for their number. But it doesn’t mean that they are not attracted to you.

[Reply]
Single man Reply:
July 19th, 2014 at 4:43 pm
Exactlly .it is a good idea.

[Reply]
Single man Reply:
July 19th, 2014 at 4:38 pm
r u in china now ? I m ready to date u .if u want .

[Reply]
thug4lyfe Reply:
September 1st, 2014 at 7:35 am
lol, typical yankee shawty, yall are too picky…

[Reply]
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March 8, 2013 at 5:13 pm

2013 Blogs by Western Women Who Love Chinese Men | Speaking of China
Yangxiao Ou

March 11, 2013 at 6:54 am Reply

You built this website by yourself? I really have to say it is beautiful, and your articles, too.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
March 11th, 2013 at 5:30 pm
Thank you so much for your nice comment! The theme of this blog is a free theme I downloaded, nice to hear you like it.

[Reply]
Wang

March 11, 2013 at 8:51 pm Reply

You really know a lot about China and Chinese people. It’s nice reading your posts.

[Reply]
Rubi

July 28, 2013 at 12:50 pm Reply

so happy you posted this!! I’m dating a Chinese guy myself so I’ve been curious on his culture on dating and all that. Sure enough a week or two into dating he asked me to marry him. Being an American I was super shocked……. but he was accepting when I told him that American’s don’t marry that quick and that he’ll wait when I’m ready. Despite that, I’ve met his parents and he’s met mine and he gives me and my family gifts, we plan big time for the times he comes to America which is rare, and he’s always complimenting me and never lets me forget how much he loves me.
But the relationship has been hard…… he lives in China and only comes to America once or twice a year and he BARELY speaks English. I’m working on my Chinese and it’s decent. Not perfect but we can talk to each other versus the beginning when I didn’t know squat on Chinese.
He’s also very open minded about work too….. he says I can work and everything and doesn’t mind me getting paid more than him but the one thing that seems to bother him is weight!!!! He thinks that the girl should weigh less than the guy but being a curvy toned Mexican doesn’t help that much….. I’m not overweight, I just got the stuff if you know what I mean.
Also, is age difference an issue when dating??? I’m 18 and he’s 21 and I know in my culture that’s a big shocker but is that in China??

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
August 1st, 2013 at 5:29 pm
Thanks for leaving your comment Rubi! I really don’t know whats the thing with Chinese guys and the weight issue. I’ve heard the same story many times, even my own boyfriend have made the mistake of discussing weight with me!

I would just tell him once that weight is not a polite topic in the west and no girlfriend would tolerate her boyfriend commenting her weight. Let him know that things are different in your culture and give him the chance to be open minded. If he continues to bring up the weight, then it can be a problem.

I think 18 and 21 isn’t a big age difference, but of course you both are still very young. In China you have the pressure to finish your degree first and think about marriage only after graduation. So I think there’s no hurry for you two. By asking you to marry him he perhaps wanted to see if you are being serious with him, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to get married right now.

So just enjoy your relationship with him and see how it goes :) I hope the best for you two!

[Reply]
Solaris

August 17, 2013 at 11:02 am Reply

I would rather date a Chinese man that already lives in America preferably in Florida but have no idea how to find one especially a marrying kind

[Reply]
joanna

August 22, 2013 at 3:11 pm Reply

my boyfriend’s chinese and so far we are really happy being together. i am a filipina and i’m so lucky that his family isn’t the traditional type. and of course, i did my part in making sure that i make efforts in really getting to know his family and understand his responsibility as a child. i guess, it is a case to case basis, and a matter of compromising with each other and making the communication lines always open for each other. we have plans of getting married in 2015, and hopefully will have a family of our own. i’m a proud filipina girlfriend of a chinese guy. :)

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
August 24th, 2013 at 10:32 am
Hi Joanna! Gongratulations of your marriage plans for 2015! I agree that every relationship is different, it’s hard to generalize anything when the topic is about love. I wish you and your bf all the best!

[Reply]
liitle monkey Reply:
January 14th, 2015 at 9:37 am
i’m also a proud filipina girlfriend of a kind and good heart chinese guy, :)

[Reply]
Knaannii

September 12, 2013 at 1:29 pm Reply

Hi!
I just found this blog and I’m lovin it!
Right now I’m dating a Chinese guy.. I think, I actually went to google on how to date a Chinese guy because we fight a lot and today he told me: “respect my culture” because I told him I would like him to send me random msgs if he was thinking about me and he told me he can’t because his roommates are always readying everything (all of them are girls and Chinese!), so I was like I DON’T CARE and he was like “I do, so please respect my culture”.. so im here trying to find and answer to this (if somebody knows please explain it to me :c) and at least reading your blog is helping me. Thanks! And hugs!

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
September 12th, 2013 at 3:38 pm
Nice to have you over Knaannii and so great to hear you’ve found my blog helpful :)

I can understand where you both come from, but of course in a relationship you need compromises on both ends. Have you explained to your bf how happy those messages would make you feel?

I’m also wondering if the lack of messages is really because of the roommates or if your bf just doesn’t like sending them. But he still can’t use the “respect my culture” card everytime you have an argument. He needs to respect your wishes as well.

Could there be another way for him to show he cares for you that both of you would like? Are you feeling insecure in the relationship or why do you think you miss the messages?

If you want to, I would also like to know if you too live close to each other or are in a long distance relationship.

I hope to hear from you again soon!

[Reply]
Emi

November 25, 2013 at 6:51 am Reply

Hi Sara,

I want to ask you a lot of stuff because we, my chinese boyfriend and I (Italian born in Venezuela girl) wants to get marry. He’s such a nice, kind and loving guy, with all the good things a chinese man has in his education (cero phobia to work or getting marry, saying their feelings, or having kids).The problem is that my family won’t alow it, they don’t want me to marry a chinese person because they think chinese are bad persons and all of the bad things…

Honestly, after giving it much thought we still want to get marry, and i’m her girlfriend without my family knows about it…But Venezuela has such an economic problem, everything is bad the president is crazy, 1 $ is at 60 BS (Vzla money) so the cost of a bunch of things got higher like materials to make houses (making to buy one unnaffordable for us), cars, and lot of new of crazy laws for renting appartments that doesn’t help us.

So my boyfriend wants me to go back to china with him, only if in two years the situation doesn’t get better and i don’t have a problem with that because i’m currently learning chinese, and i’m used to chinese coulture and how they are with foreigners but I wanted to ask you if living in china is good? I heard a lot of the pullution problems and that you may get sick or have cancer, and if foreigners can find a job teaching english or spanish?

I mean can I live there and have a job and a family? is it safe?
I will graduate from university this year, if everything gets better here in Venezuela maybe we can buy a house or rent an appartment, but i just wanted to ask you just in case ;)

Thanks, Sara

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
November 26th, 2013 at 10:47 am
Hi Emi!

Have your family seen your boyfriend or is there any way for them to meet? This could help them to realize your boyfriend is a good person and wants to take care of you.

Have you been to China before or lived here for a certain period of time? Having a Chinese boyfriend abroad is very different than marrying one and living with him in China. Would you two live on your own or with his family?

I’ve been living with my boyfriend’s family for almost a year now and I know it isn’t a good solution in the long term for us. Culture is like an onion, you peel the first layer and manage the challenges, but there are always new layers to peel. I don’t want to discourage you, but to share my experience.

I think China is safe to live and have a family. Of course if you can stay away from the most polluted cities, that would be better for your health.

If you want to go to China to teach English or Spanish it’s totally doable and even with a good pay. But you have to be careful with the visas. You should have two years of working experience after your graduation to be able to get a visa. Of course there are shortcuts, but be careful. Only work with a Z visa.

What I would recommend for you and your boyfriend is to try to arrange a meeting with your family, perhaps for a dinner. See if you could let your family see how great your boyfriend is.

Secondly, you two could try moving to China for a short period first if that’s what you want. You could try it for a year and see if it’s a good fit for you.

I hope this helps Emi, please feel free to ask more questions.

[Reply]
Emi Reply:
November 29th, 2013 at 12:53 am
Hi Sara, thanks for answer my message :) it really helps me.

I think there’s no way, my family doesn’t want to. First I wanted my family to meet him but they refuse, they don’t like chinese people. They want me to marry with an italian guy or a person with the same culture or just don’t get marry at all. I understand their fear because they’ve never been with a chinese person so I know they think that my boyfriend would make me eat ants everyday.

And I know that some chinese do things like that, but my boyfriend is very normal person :l He likes our culture too.

I’ve never been to China before, My boyfriend lives here in Venezuela too, he has been living here three years now with an aunt. He has a good job, and he told me that in in two years (if venezuela is ok and the president don’t turn this into a new Cuba because everything in here is like we were in a dictatorship) we can rent an appartment and marry.

He told me If we go to China because of the problems here we would do the same. His sister is already married and lives with his husbands family and his mother is the only left but he says we won’t live with her because she’s very delicate of health and maybe she won’t be there in two years :(

Yesterday, when we were talking about it my boyfriend say to me that if venezuela gets very bad, we could live in other latin american country rather than China if I want.

Mean wile, those two years i’ll be working too and learning chinese, so for the visa i think it will be ok right? I will graduate as a graphic designer, can I still teach english without beign graduated as a techer or something like that?

Thanks for everything and sorry to bother you with this xD

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
December 5th, 2013 at 2:38 pm
Hi again Emi,

That really is a tricky situation if your family refuses to meet with him. But I think it’s worth the try to help them see that Chinese people aren’t what they think they are. Perhaps they only dislike Chinese because they haven’t even known anyone Chinese that well?

Don’t worry too much about the visa right now, you never know if there are new changes before the time comes. Just wanted to let you know, that it’s best to go by the rules and no matter how you work, get the Z visa.

I guess what you can do now is to learn more about Chinese language and culture, and of course to know your boyfriend better and better :) Show your family you have made up your mind about this and it’s important for you that they are there for you.

If you two plan to marry in two years, that’s good you have time to figure things out.

Oh and ask as many questions as you want to. I’m not always sure if I can help, but I will do my best :)

[Reply]
Pookeye Reply:
March 24th, 2015 at 1:16 pm
i forgot to mention, since your family is italian, i bet i can help this out… first thing is first… (cause i lived with italian family in USA, my chinese aunt married an italian american)

italian families are big…. and they are close knit group… in other words, if you are family, you are family.. italians son asi… they have a very close family structure, the good news is, for your future knowledge… the chinese have just as BIG a family structure as the italians… they both are very family oriented…

the italians generally are a lot more open and forgiving, but are put off quickly if they feel that they are being disrespected.. which they should,.. the chinese in venezuela are very disrespectful…. so i do not blame your family for this…

i would bet you money that if i met your family, they would love me right away… but thats probably because i have a mentality similar to italians… (i can thank my uncle for this and his family) all the italians in venezuela at first, dont know what to make of me, although they find me strangely familiar in a weird way… (the carneceria italians especially)

but anyways, if you and your boyfriend decide to get married, your family will eventually have to put up with his family… I think once they finally get to know each other they will get along just fine… since your family are italians, the chinese will generally be a bit more respectful because you guys arent like legitimately venezuelans criollo… the chinese do respect europeans.

I say you should be strong with your family, its your life its your decision, they will come to respect you more someday, if you decide to do what you wanted, and you married him and he takes care of you and your kids… and as long as he is willing to BE APART of your family whole heartily you will be just fine.

[Reply]
Single man Reply:
July 19th, 2014 at 4:58 pm
I visted many countries ,so far ,I dont think China is suffering pullution like others counries.If you live in Shenzhen, Dalian ,Qingdao or Weihai ,you will find that China is not like what the media said ,It is amazing and unbelieveable .If you go Xin jing ,or Qing hai ,OMG ,that is like paradise .U can google ,it .Tibet is also on the list .
For you job .here many foreigners can get job easier than natives ,Becasue chinese parents hope is focuing on their kids education more than others .Spanish is not like English .only few of ppl learn it .But China has demand .So if you can speack english very well .You have many options to get job here .
Dont worry about China environment .You can ask some foreigners who are living China ,how about their feelings ,they will give you their commetns .Facebook ,is not allowed in China ,but still we use it ,you can visit my FB ,zhao guosong ,Shenzhen I will help you to open your eyes .and change your prarents and yours view about China.
Wish you and your Chinese Boyfriend can overcome it and live your own life .

[Reply]
Pookeye Reply:
March 24th, 2015 at 1:01 pm
hi Emi, I know this is a year late, so I’ll try to answer as best as possible… (Im american venezuelan chinese) so I can be a little more objective with this response..

First 95% of chinese are from one place in china, a place called Enping. (yes my family as well is included in this cause i was born in venezuela) its actually a fairly safe place, for the most part, but just be aware that you will feel a little special… not necessarily in a good way, this is because you will be like one of 10 people that are foreigners in that place.. and everyone will be looking at you… im sure you will get used to it…. the good news however is, it should be perfectly safe (for the most part) and you wont be the only venezuelan living in this city… as I have met a bunch of other venezuelans here..(Enping China)

now, I’m chinese born in venezuela and living in USA, the funny thing is when i was in china, none of the chinese were willing to help me (its a cultural issue) but i had encountered a Venezuelan guy in Enping and asked him for help to find a hotel… of course the venezuelan helped me, but the chinese did not.. go figure (and I’m chinese).. (venezuelans as dangerous as the country is, the people are some of the nicest people I have ever met in my life)

anyways, there should be jobs for teaching spanish in EnPing (there are a lot of venezuelan chinese kids going to school in china now) this is due to the security problems for the chinese in venezuela… so I wouldnt imagine it being difficult to find a job… although the pay may not be great, and getting a working visa may not be easy… i dont know… u probably know more than me. but the kids there need to learn spanish, cause when they return to venezuela to work with the family their spanish stink!!! (and remember I speak spanish with an gringo accent, and i speak better)

to be honest though, 2 years of your life living in another culture sounds quite divine. I would do it in a heartbeat.. but thats my opinion.. u only have one life.. and as much as I love venezuela cause its my homeland, it really isnt the safest place, always on guard and always have to watch your back.. being chinese makes it worse, (but with the large number of chinese in venezuela these past few years, I dont feel as special as I used to) the good news is, you wont be asked to give for money from the police, or the guardia nacional (like your boyfriend does) in china… the police wont be asking you for money, or the military..

also in response to your family… being chinese and living away from venezuela, i perfectly understand what your family is thinking… they are actually not wrong to feel the way they do, the problem with the chinese (ESPECIALLY the ones in Venezuela) they are all old school… in other words they have a much older mentality of the world.. the chinese in venezuela tend to feel that they are superior, and well unfortunately Venezuelans dont give them a good reason to feel any different.. problem with the chinese in venezuela is that they do not conform nor do they learn their about their own surroundings in venezuela.. although i will admit the venezuelan police and guardia nacional dont make it easy for them to feel safe, and secure and the education system in venezuela needs a lot of work, what happens unfortunately is the chinese see the local population spending money but not working, they tend to think all venezuelans are like this… they meet a lot of uneducated folks, and they group all venezuelans to be like this.. (doesnt help that all the shops are arabic, chinese, europeans…..etc….)

each time I go back to Venezuela I have to teach my chinese family that Venezuelans aren’t dumb, in fact if you meet all the educated ones, they are just as good as any fancy “american” (long story short, because I’m american, they put chinese americans in a higher pedestal, which is crap.) its sad, because the chinese in venezuela should appreciate the land and the opportunity that venezuela has given them, when you go to Enping you will see all these new hotels and apartments and buildings.. guess where that money came from? thats right, oil money from venezuela… so dont be mad at your family.. just let them understand why the chinese are what they are in venezuela… at the end of the day, the chinese in venezuela are the ones at fault here.. they need to start being apart of the society in venezuela, rather than being just a place to work to send money back home to china… and they keep paying off the authorities and not really helping themselves and are making it worst for future generations…

I hope I helped answer a few of these question, please do not hestitate to look me up @pookeye on twitter. I’d love to hear about your experience in china, write a blog, so that your family in venezuela can see what is going on. maybe when i go to china I can meet you and your boyfriend, btw he living the dream, chinese marrying a venezuelan (remember they are known for their miss universes) good luck to you both!

[Reply]
Nashy

November 29, 2013 at 2:52 pm Reply

Hi

I find your blog a nice read and insightful. Thanks. One year ago I met this really handsome Chinese guy and now we just got married and living with his family in a small south China city. Many things shocked me: I wasn’t going to be serious in the relationship..was like let me try and see kind of relationship! The Chinese guy was sure and serious with what he wanted. I was skeptical because I am black and never heard of Chinese men marrying Black girls. I have seen many Chinese girl marry blacks but not the men! He treated me like a queen, he swept me off my feet! I met his parents and Grandparents and they liked me! My chinese language then was very low and his english not good either. We could use gestures or Pleco to translate or sometimes google! In every date, we had a translator or a phone. In the few months to come, my Chinese improved and could talk to him 2 hrs without searching for my phone or inquiring from someone else. It was very funny!

Then I told my Mum who said a BIG NO! I then tried to send her pictures but she never opened then. I was expecting the chinese family to say no but shock on me! I called my uncle and told him my situation, he was helpful and gladly fixed it! So we went to Africa to see my family, and they liked him although they couldn’t speak to him directly(I was translating the much I could). He got along with my brother playing football and talking about guns, sometimes they draw pictures use very funny gestures, it was like watching deaf and dumb!

After a year of dating, we got married(officially so I could come stay with him), came back to live in China and having a wedding next year. Meanwhile as I look for a job, am teaching english, learning how to cook Chinese food, his dad teaches me. Our challenge now is his job, it takes most of his time and clients call him for KTV which he cant say no and am not a fun for KTV! Most of the time I am left with his parents in the house(parents are good, but they care too much! am not used to it). I kinda feel lonely. We spoke about it, I hope it gets better! Chinese guys are different but I must say better than anyone I dated before in terms of commitment, taking care of you and being proud of you! I am leaving a dream!

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
December 5th, 2013 at 2:50 pm
Thank you for sharing your story Nashy! Have you read the blog http://lifebehindthewall.wordpress.com/? I’m sure you will find it inspiring.

I can actually relate to a lot of what you wrote. My boyfriend also was and still is very sure that he wants to be with me, so sure that it amazes me. Commitment, taking care of you, being proud of you, all things I’ve experienced with my Chinese boyfriend as well.

It’s interesting to find out that even our culture, yours Nashy and mine, must differ quite a lot too, that the things we observe about Chinese culture are quite similar actually.

I wish all the best to you and your boyfriend. Hopefully I will see you on my blog again too!

[Reply]
Julie Reply:
October 25th, 2016 at 11:12 pm
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[Reply]
Jasmin

January 21, 2014 at 9:34 am Reply

I’m currently dating a Chinese guy it’s a new relationship we’ve only been dating for 4 months and he is the sweetest, cutest, shyest boyfriend I have ever had. He show’s his affections in cute little shy ways that make me giggle and he loves tickling me. I wish I had a good relationship with his parents I only been to his house once to meet his parents and they didn’t like me that much. His mother didn’t like the idea that I dye my hair radiant red so I dyed my hair a normal brownish color but she also doesn’t like the idea that I’m Hispanic and ouch! that hurts I can’t fix that. My boyfriend doesn’t care he likes me no matter I just wish I could be accepted in his family.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
January 25th, 2014 at 2:01 am
Hi Jasmin, thank you for sharing your story. For some Chinese parents it can be hard when their children date outside their own culture, it can be that they are afraid if you are serious with the relationship. Chinese tend to date to marry, but it’s sometimes not that straightforwards with foreign couples. But with any parents, usually the time helps when they get to know you better.

[Reply]
Kate

March 1, 2014 at 6:17 am Reply

I’m 18 and I’ve dated my chinese boyfriend for 3 years now. At first our relationship was really hard, because we was so young and both out parents wanted us to focus in exams ect, but they didn’t object, so once they realised we could balance our relationship and our studies they were fine with it.
However, I only officially met my boyfriends parent 8 months in, 1. Because I was terrified and 2. Because we didn’t know if we was even serious enough, my parents liked him, and he got in with my dad well, however when I met his parents, I just didn’t feel welcomed or comfortable in any sense, I would sit there nervously and then my boyfriend would get upset because I wasn’t making effort with his family, we had so many arguments and I just couldn’t take his constant bitching and I ended it, not thinking he would be so cut up, he asked for another chance and I gave it to him and he explained that he wanted me and his family to be

[Reply]
Katie

March 1, 2014 at 6:21 am Reply

I’m 18 and I’ve dated my chinese boyfriend for 3 years now. At first our relationship was really hard, because we was so young and both out parents wanted us to focus in exams ect, but they didn’t object, so once they realised we could balance our relationship and our studies they were fine with it.
However, I only officially met my boyfriends parent 8 months in, 1. Because I was terrified and 2. Because we didn’t know if we was even serious enough, my parents liked him, and he got in with my dad well, however when I met his parents, I just didn’t feel welcomed or comfortable in any sense, I would sit there nervously and then my boyfriend would get upset because I wasn’t making effort with his family, we had so many arguments and I just couldn’t take his constant bitching and I ended it, not thinking he would be so cut up, he asked for another chance and I gave it to him and he explained that he wanted me and his family to be close because they meant so much to him, so I feel if you wanna date an asian you have to understand family importance.
Also, I found my guy is really sensitive and he always wanted to make me happy showers me in gifts compliments, ect. Hey I’m not containing.
Also, in the bedroom, he always feels the need to fully satisfy me, then onto him.
To date any guy you’re in love with is great.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
July 24th, 2014 at 10:08 pm
Thank you for sharing Katie, I’m so sorry I have completely missed your comment when you posted it! You are right, that family is very important for Chinese, in a totally different way it is for Finnish for example. How are things going now?

[Reply]
Jenn Reply:
August 19th, 2015 at 1:48 pm
Hi Sara Jaaksola!I’m a filipina 23 yrs old and my boyfriend is a chinese 28 yrs old who’s studying in the U.S now and we plan to get married in China after he graduated in the U.S.My question is,Is it hard for us to get married in China since we didnt meet in personal yet?and what are those documents that we needed?i’ll appreciate your answer!Thank you

[Reply]
Rebecca Kemaya

March 4, 2014 at 9:42 am Reply

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[Reply]
S.A

March 22, 2014 at 9:27 pm Reply

Hi sara,
thank you for the great informatin that you share with us.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
March 26th, 2014 at 12:14 pm
Thank you for reading S.A

[Reply]
S.A Reply:
April 15th, 2014 at 3:08 am
I am 27 years old. i met a my chinese boyfriend in my country. we spent one month together but now he is in china . he is 34 years of age.during this long distance relationship (3 months), his love to me didnt change. but i am a very sensative girl. i am very emotional but i dont mention and dont complain about being far. i try to be patient because i am in love with him. during the last few weeks he hasnt asked me to have a web chat with him. i am not really sure if he still loves me as before.i have a chinese friend that sais, chinese men are not very emotional and they show their emotions in a diffrent way.also we havent talked about marriage yet. i dont know about his decision.

[Reply]
S.A Reply:
April 15th, 2014 at 3:09 am
do you think i can ask him about his decision and to see if he wants a serious relationhip????

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
July 24th, 2014 at 10:06 pm
I am so sorry I haven’t seen your comment to this thread. How is the situation at the moment?

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
April 24th, 2014 at 11:47 am
Dear S.A I would be cautious in your situation as you have only seen this man for one month, that is a very short time to get to know someone. There can be many things you don’t know about him.

In general in all relationships I think that if a man wants to be with you, he will let you know. If he wants to talk to you, he will find the time to call you.

You should first get to know him well before starting to talk about being serious or marriage. Be safe.

[Reply]
Lucy

March 24, 2014 at 1:54 pm Reply

I am american-latina, i dated my share of asian guys last i dated a korean guy before i met my chinese guy . He broke my heart pretty badly. And i must say my now husband chinese guy is such a wonderful blessings he has very respectful family and he honors my parents. The people are humble and kind. He Is patient and kind and is commited i know noone is perfect but i think people should give chinese guys a chance!

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
March 26th, 2014 at 12:14 pm
I’m so happy to hear you found your Chinese husband Lucy! He sounds like a catch!

[Reply]
9angel

March 25, 2014 at 11:52 am Reply

I find chinese firend

[Reply]
Vera Morgan

June 17, 2014 at 10:28 am Reply

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[Reply]
Lawrence Jerry

June 26, 2014 at 6:48 am Reply

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Thanks to Dr Fadeyi that prepared the herbal medication for us that we used in curing my Husband.
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[Reply]
SmartyPantsGirl

July 21, 2014 at 10:51 am Reply

Her view is clearly dating a Chinese Man from and in China. I want to make clear to the readers that a Chinese Man is not the same as an ABC Man (American Born Chinese.) There are still culturally similarities, but she’s living in China dating a Chinese man, not dating an Asian here in America where the western influences will play a much bigger role if she as dating an ABC. Also, beside some cultural differences, there are also religious influences. Say if a Chinese or ABC man is a Christian and is 25 years old and wants to date a woman his parents are not crazy about, he will still marry her solely because this is his life and he is a grown man. So the respect part for the parents is not totally out the window here, but his religion will say he is now a man and will make decisions for himself and be responsible for the consequences versus listening to mommy and daddy. Also,..not ALL CHINESE/ABC men want to date to marry, nor do they serve you hand and foot. They drink, party hard at clubs and many do not want kids nor settle down. Thats my NYC experience with ABC’s. As you all readers should know, there is also the flip side just because that’s reality. And seriously…you don’t want to live near or with your in-laws once married. I am married to an ABC man and I am an ABC girl incase y’all are interested. I know.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
July 24th, 2014 at 10:06 pm
Good point that what I write about is mostly dating and marrying a Chinese man in China.I did date an ethnic Chinese guy who had a Finnish nationality for a few years, but I mostly write from the mainland China point of view.

[Reply]
Rachel

July 22, 2014 at 10:54 pm Reply

I’m currently in a one-year relationship with a Chinese guy. We met here in the US and both of us are pursuing graduate studies in the same department. I have already introduced him to my family (via Skype) and they like him. I haven’t met his parents yet but they know that he’s dating a Filipina. I thought his parents won’t have a hard time accepting me since they know that I’m 50% Chinese but I was wrong.

Ever since he went home for a vacation, his parents kept on bugging him to break up with me. At first it was because of the language barrier then they brought up other issues like the cultural differences, my being 2 years older than him, etc. It’s so frustrating because they don’t know me yet they are already so much against me. I feel like they just want him to break up with me so he can end up with a Chinese girl. They even said that they don’t need him to be with an outstanding girl as long as they can communicate with her. He told them I’m willing to learn Mandarin but it’s still not enough.

He said that he wants us to continue being in this relationship and he won’t stop convincing his parents to just let us be together. I also don’t want to give up on us even though my parents advised me to gradually stay away from him and be prepared that we might break up anytime soon.

Do you guys think that this will work and eventually his parents will approve of me? My mother never had any problems with my father’s family even though she’s not Chinese so our situation frustrates and confuses me so much. I don’t want to end our relationship but at the same time, I feel sorry for him because his parents are putting so much pressure on him. I need some advice. Thank you.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
July 24th, 2014 at 10:04 pm
Sorry to hear about this problem Rachel. I had a similar situation back in Finland when I was dating a Chinese guy and his parents didn’t accept me. In the end I think they would have grown to accept me with time, but my now ex-boyfriend ended up being a total jerk, so I never found out. So I know where you are coming from when the parent’s don’t accept you just because of your background.

Luckily I have a much happier story to share with you as well! Jocelyn from http://www.speakingofchina.com is married to a Chinese man, and his family didn’t accept him dating foreigners at first. I remember how she wrote about bringing a photo album of her and her family to her husband’s home, bonding over watching the photos and telling her father-in-law about her relatives.

What the parents are mostly worried about is how to communicate with you and if you two are dating to get married. So first you can start learning Mandarin or their own dialect, to show them that you really want to become a part of their family. The first time you meet them, you can at least greet them in Chinese. The second thing you and your boyfriend can do is to show that you are together for good. Perhaps he could find a way to get all of you together for dinner. Is there any nice Chinese restaurants in the area you could meet?

The most important thing now is that your boyfriend will stay on your side, that’s how you hopefully can slowly win his parents over.

[Reply]
Rachel Reply:
September 18th, 2014 at 7:20 pm
Hi Sara. Thanks for the reply. My boyfriend and I already broke up. His parents gave him an ultimatum that they will stop answering his calls if he doesn’t break up with me. So we decided to break up instead of fight a losing battle. It’s been a month already and I miss him so much.

Are most traditional Chinese parents like them? I feel so bad for my boyfriend because his parents used blackmail to make him give up our relationship. I really cannot understand why they are so unwilling to accept a foreign girl for their son even though we are good for each other.

[Reply]
Brown Mark

July 29, 2014 at 2:24 pm Reply

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[Reply]
lucillalin

August 14, 2014 at 10:21 pm Reply

Hei, oma parisuhteeni on kulttuurin osalta hiukan erilainen, koska mieheni on Kaakkois-Aasian kiinalaisia ja hänen kulttuurinsa on vuosisatojen brittivaikutteiden takia länsimaalaisempi kuin manner-kiinalaisten. Sellainen asia on tullut mieleen näitä blogeja lukiessa, että oman kokemukseni mukaan suomalainen kulttuuri on joissain asioissa ehkä lähempänä aasialaista kuin joidenkin muiden länsimaiden. Me asumme Englannissa ja olen sitä mieltä, että kiinalainen kulttuuri on minulle jotenkin tutumpi kuin englantilainen- suomalaisetkin kuitenkin ovat enimmäkseen hyvin perhekeskeisiä ja me ulkosuomalaiset usein haluamme vaalia omia perinteitämme, joten suhtaudumme positiivisesti myös muiden perinteisiin. Usein kun puhutaan länsimaisten naisten ja aasialaisten välisistä suhteista tunnutaan oletettavan, että kaikki länsimaiset naiset ovat samanlaisia eivätkä edustakaan omia maitaan ja kulttuureitaan. Kiinalainen puoliso ei siis välttämättä kohtaa itselleen mediasta tuttua villiä ja vapaata länsimaista, vaan eurooppalaisen naisen omine tapoineen ja odotuksineen.

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
September 13th, 2014 at 5:33 pm
Ihan totta! Ei lansimaalaisia voi nipuutta samaan nippuun, eika kylla aasialaisiakaan. Itse kylla tunnen mannerkiinalaisen kulttuurin todella erilaiseksi kuin suomalaisen kulttuurin, yhtenevaisyyksia on vaikea loytaa. Oma mieheni on kuitenkin hyvin epaperinteinen, voisi kuvitella etta han on viettanyt aikaansa ulkomailla.

Todella mielenkiintoista kuulla sinun nakokulmaasi asiaan.

[Reply]
thug4lyfe

September 1, 2014 at 7:34 am Reply

Just make sure you make a good obedient Chinese wife shawty…

[Reply]
doris carter

November 3, 2014 at 1:40 pm Reply

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[Reply]
Francisca luis

November 6, 2014 at 1:22 pm Reply

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[Reply]
Henry Westwood

November 8, 2014 at 5:57 pm Reply

Been a HIV positive is just like been through hell but EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE. So amazing and i want to testify of the good work done by GREAT DR a very strong and powerful spell caster. GREAT DR has proved science and scientists wrong for believing and thinking that there is no cure for HIV AIDS but to be sincere this GREAT MAN is so real and powerful. I never thought that this spell will work but this GREAT MAN has proved it to me and it has worked and still working perfectly. My Name is Henry west and i was diagnosed of the deadly disease called HIV AIDS in 2011 and i thought that is the end and there will be no hope. Speaking to anyone was always a problem because i was so worried and always in the state of unrest in fact i thought it was over until one blessed day when i was searching for help here on the internet, i came across a testimony about GREAT DR on how he helped a lady who was HIV positive. At first i thought it was all a lie but i decided to give it a try since there was no option and, when i contacted this MAN he laughed and told me that, that is too small for him to handle but i was still in doubt, and he gave me a form to fill which I did, then he called me and told me that his gods required some items in which he will use in casting a curing spell on me and he told me that it will cost only $500, I sent him the money because I could not find the items. He bought the items and prepared a cure for me, and instructed me on what to do and i OBEYED him completely as he told me. Then he sent a parcel to me through the courier delivery service. I paid for the courier service, I got my parcel, it was a holy water and a pure holy oil as described by GREAT DR. I took the holy water and the holy oil and after taking it, he told me to go for check up but I was still in doubt and was so afraid to go for the test but i took a bold step and believed that it is well, and i believed all what he has done and all that he has told me. So i went to the hospital for the test it was so amazing, awesome and exciting what seems to be impossible became possible, the VIRUS disappeared completely from my system and I was tested HIV negative. Quickly I called him and told him what happened he congratulated me and today i am a happy man again the way things use to be. Don’t you think that this testimony is worth sharing? I promise to tell the world about him and i will keep sharing this testimony till the end because many people has died of AIDS and i want many people who believed that it is over to know that EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE AND I WANT THEM TO GET HELP FROM THIS SPELL CASTER by contacting him on his email at dr.skhivhomefcure@gmail.com for your solution now. If you are hiv positive and you think that it is over i want to tell you that there is hope for you and if you truly and dearly value your life please contact him now. THIS IS REAL HE IS NOT A SCAM, BELIEVE HIM AND DON’T ASK TOO MUCH QUESTIONS. Thank you GREAT DR and May your good gods keep rewarding you for your good deeds.

[Reply]
marianne

November 12, 2014 at 8:41 pm Reply

Hi guys im marianne from the philippines. I have a son with a chinese guy. He was my bf then when i got pregnant he wants to abort the baby so i decided to leave him and now his four and im a single mother but very happy and complete. Thanks for reading.

[Reply]
Robin laura

November 16, 2014 at 12:22 pm Reply

I have been in great bondage for about 4 years
suffering in the hands of a cheating husband. We were living happily
until he meant his old time girl friend and he started dating her again
outside our marriage and before i knew it he stopped caring for his own
family, to the extent that he was planning to marry her and divorce me. I
cried and reported him to his family members but he never listened to
anyone and to cut the story short, i came in search for a real spell
caster who could destroy their relationship and make him come back to me
and our 2 kids again; on my search i saw people sharing testimony on
how their marriage was restored by Dr. Eze Malaka and i pick his email
and told him the problem that i was going through, and he agreed to help
me and told me never to worry. After he had finished casting the spell,
on the second day, they both had a quarrel and he beat up his
girlfriend and he came back home begging me to forgive him that his eyes
are clear now that he will never do any thing that will hurt his family
again and promise to be a caring father and never to cheat on me again.
I am so happy that i did not lose him to the girl and all appreciation
goes to Dr. Eze Malaka for his great work. You are a Great spell caster
and to you all that are faced with this or similar problem to this,
please contact him now on extremewhitelovespell@yahoo. com

[Reply]
hope mary

January 9, 2015 at 7:38 pm Reply

Hello,everyone am from USA i never ever believed in spell until i meet a man called Dr.Ogul,who help me cast a spell that bring back my ex-lover who left me for two years before our marriage,His spells works beyond my imaginations and today i am happily with two of my kids and my [ex-lover] now,my husband is very happy more than ever before, what more can i say rather than to say thank Dr.Ogul for been there for me,contact him today and your life will never ever remain the same his emailis; doctorogul@gmail.com thanks god for using you

[Reply]
Autumn

February 22, 2015 at 9:50 pm Reply

I am dating a chinese guy now, you are right when you said that he is really good in taking care of a girl and insists on paying for everything. But the problem is, not many couples who have cultural differences ends up getting married. Their parents still prefers a chinese girl for their son. And i’m not sure if he is serious on me.
So, I don’t know how to end our relationship because i like him a lot.

[Reply]
Mel

March 8, 2015 at 8:16 am Reply

Hi Sara, I had a question about chinese men. I know generally they pay for all girls meals but what if it’s their birthday can an exception be made?

[Reply]
Jeanette Tovey

March 27, 2015 at 8:07 pm Reply

haha this is quite interesting what people are saying about South Chinese men. I live in Japan but am dating a Chinese guy (somewhere from the South) and soon after we first met i remember he come over and cooked me a banquet for my birthday and then cleaned everything up!! After dating Japanese men who are nothing like this I was in shock, lol. He’d also always carry my shopping and just be generally very sweet. What other differences are there between North and South personalities? It’s interesting!

[Reply]
annie gustavo

April 19, 2015 at 10:37 am Reply

When everything and everyone fails Dr Eziza gave me hope. All my problems where solved immediately by the special Grace of the Great Dr Eziza.Dr.Eziza Traditional Healing and Spiritual Home is specialized powerful love spells and ancestral spiritual powers to heal and solve all failed problems! Spell casting, Voodoo worker, spiritual healing, Traditional healing, Herbal and native healer.A powerful spiritual and traditional ancestral African healer and spell caster. contact this great man of our time on ezizaoguntemple@gmail.com or call +2348058176289

[Reply]
Mary Ann

May 12, 2015 at 2:10 pm Reply

My Name is Doreen Ann, From Canada I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called GREAT MUTABA has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell within 24 hours. I was married to my husband Bill Ferio, we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then I was looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email greatmutaba@yahoo.com then you won’t believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he cast a very strong spell for me and bring my lost husband back within 24hrs, and after a month I miss my monthly period and went for a test and the result showed that i was pregnant. i am happy today am a mother of a baby Boy,thank you once again the GREAT MUTABA for what you have done for me.Contact him on his private email greatmutaba@yahoo.com if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life,,,,,,,

[Reply]
Leah Rays

May 21, 2015 at 8:11 pm Reply

SENIOR DR AGADAGUDU , I AM VERY GRATEFUL TO YOU FOR YOUR TRANSPARENCY AND ASSISTANCE IN CURING MY HIV WITHOUT ANY HEARTACHES AND STRESS !!!

I want to express my total thanks and utmost gratitude to this great man { Senior Dr Agadagudu SuperPower } for helping me cleans out my Hiv from the postive status to a negative status with his sprititual/medical excellent proofs to behold and due to this reason , i am very happy and grateful to this great powerful doctor for not allowing my enemies laugh over me and This is why i have decided to thank him and give kudos to him just for bailing me out of this type of medical difficulty that has eating me .. both emotionally and socially and this desease is currently eating deep into the world as this has lived a whole lots of persons out of fear and confusion .. since we all know the outcome of this deadly virus .. which is >>> DEATH …When i first got the result from the laboratory in the regards to my infection with this deadly virus .. i thought that all hopes was lost and as a result of my loniliness and deep pains that i could not open up to anyone ,i started attending Hiv awareness seminer and frequent conselling stuffs and not just that , i also began my checking out through the online world to see if i could come across the principles which could assist me throughout this period of my HIV POSITIVE STATUS, Relunctantly , i clicked on a testimony on facebook of one woman called Faith Clive from jamaica and i read through out her sad stories of how she got infected and how she was stereotyped and resticted in the society even by her friends and a few family members but God was always on her side as she meant a Genuie Hiv cleansing doctor online { Dr Agadagudu SuperPower } who helped her have her HIV CLEANSED / CURED TOTALLY in 9 days with a %101 percent guarantee and due to all this that i saw concerning her… I believed her as i saw that we were having almost the same story and history ,I copied the email address of the Senior Dr Agadagudu SuperPower{ agadagudusuperpowerworld@gmail.com } and this was how i got to communicate with the said doctor for a cure and after my consultation with him i was having a few doubts because my mum made me understand that the only way was medical and not spritual as she adviced me not to proceed because there was no generalproven cure for the Hiv virus but upon my constand conversation with this great doctor… i latter found out that there are still people who are kind and genuie in this world because i was initially meant to understand that there are no real cure for now but he gave me several reasons why he has the cure for this deadly virus and why he has decided to assist man kind with his cure ….. all thanks to him though for this great this that he has done as i have vowed to send and tell the stories to my children unborn .. because i am free and free indeed and you can have me contacted on leahrays12345@gmail.com. you can also contact him , if you need your ex back or if you need someone you love to love you back , he can assist you on all this without stress , because he is a specialist in this things.
God bless you sir …. agadagudusuperpowerworld@gmail.com +2347055413298

Leah Anthonia Rally .

[Reply]
A

June 3, 2015 at 4:08 pm Reply

Hi Sara,
I am really happy to find this blog and really thanks for sharing your story to you since I am in a relationship with a Chinese guy and I take our relationship very seriously.
I told about my foreign bf to my family and introduced him via wechat, and they like him. However the problem is that his parent’s don’t allow him to meet me because I am not a Chinese girl. I am a Korean (South Korean, of course ) has a similar cultural background and appearance with Chinese ppl. So, we thought it couldn’t be a problem that I was a foreigner. His parents, however, didn’t accept me because just I am a foreign girl. I wanted to meet them to convince and show how I loved him so much but even I couldn’t have chance to do it. His parents asked him to break up with me and you wouldn’t be my son anymore if you kept relationship with me. So we tried to end up our relationship but…..we couldn’t. He told me he will find a way and their parents just need some time to accept this situation because I am the only girl he wanna get married. But..what if.. what if his parents still don’t allow him to keep relationship 1 or 2 years later? Do you think his parents can be changed?
I love him so much.. he loves me sososososo much too. I am learning mandarin and even finding a job there. (Now we are in a long distance relationship) Actually I was really hurt by this situation at first. I am ..well educated from good university, always hearing I am a pretty girl and most of all I grew up in loving home too like him and you guys here. But I realized I couldn’t blame anyone about this, because his parents is doing love him by their way.
I trust him. I believe he can make it.. He can finally change their parents. However actually still afraid that.. what if his parents will never change ? What if he say “sorry baby we cannot go on, really sorry for you wasted time?”..
He always says I am a really important to him and regard me as the only girl he wanna have the future with, and parents never can win their son……However I am still …reallllyyyyyyy afraid that his parents will not change their mind..

[Reply]
Zhao Reply:
June 10th, 2015 at 6:37 pm
As a Chinese young man who is studying in Finland, I come to understand more about Chinese behavior. So here I clarify several points which would be important and useful to foreign ladies to date Chinese men.

1. Language. if you have been in China, you would find that English is not spoken by many Chinese, really hard to find a Chinese man speaking fluent English, and even many people cannot speak standard Chinese well. But Chinese has really large population, you still have chance to meet the men who speak English well and understand western culture well in general.
2. Chinese are usually shy due to the culture, this is also reflected in dating and relationship. so, just be brave to take the first step. Many Chinese men are actually interested in western girls, at least like me.
3.Parents: in the past, it is true that parents have the final say for marriage, but nowadays, they tend to give the son freedom in marriage, the parents need to meet the son’s girlfriend before marry, and this is mostly a sign of serious relationship. There are some parents hoping the son to get a foreign wife, some are not, but anyway, if the their son insist on getting the foreign girlfriend, the parents mostly would respect the son’s decision.
4. I’m surprized to hear that some American or European girls are keen on dating a Chinese boyfriend yet not successful, from my experience, it is many Chinese guys are searching western girlfriends, just like me do.
5. Advice on what kind of Chinese men would be suitable target: the Chinese men who speak fluent English usually understand western culture better and have experience in interacting with foreigners, and have more intercultural communication experience, and many of them are also interested in foreign girlfriends. Besides, the men who is interested in travelling, cultures, foreigners tend to be more open-minded. Third, a man with tolerance and be willing to compromise is very important in international relationship. Misunderstanding due to the cultures are very common, but how do you two face and solve them are what matters. Four, Chinese men who lived abroad before would be much better choice, since they are better in communication, language, and independent living and housework, etc.
6. It would be a plus advantage if you can speak Chinese. Chinese culture and behavior may be confusing and hard to understand for you, just do as the public do and talk more to get understanding, and gradually you will understand more.

Hope these could help.
By the way, is there any other chatting channel for the people who are interested in dating Chinese guys? I’m into such chatting very much.

[Reply]
A Reply:
June 11th, 2015 at 2:06 pm
Hi Zhao,

Thanks for your advice. I’m from Korea, so we think… we have a lot of common things in our cultures and I can understand urs quite well. :) My bf is fluent in English cause he studied oversea and we use eng for our communication. (I am learning Mandarin Chinese now ) Just I would like to know if there’s possibility that his parents change their thinking and accept me. I really wanna do my best to change them but I totally have no idea what should I do for it………(Actually even they don’t wanna meet me.. )
hope you find your right girl soon and thank you!

[Reply]
River_Derek

July 5, 2015 at 12:05 am Reply

As at this the month last year my life was a mess i lost everything my wife, my job, my house and even my kids it was really bad that i had to go live with my father. First, i lost my job as a result of covering the bad things my best friend committed and there after everything fell to pieces. My family fell apart i fought with my wife always over every little thing i remember we fought over the fact that my credit card was declined a the shopping mall she was well aware of our situation, that is how i lost my job and all that. I think what made her most mad at me, was that i lost my job because i was protecting my friend. Then i started defaulting on my mortgage payment i could not pay up, i could not pay my bills every responsibility in my house was on my wife. She could not do it all alone she need me to be the man of the house and i failed her and my kids. I was ashamed to call myself a man. Then the worst happened, the bank took my house and my family were thrown out. Once again my wife just felt disappointed in me she could no longer take it she had leave me took with her our kids. I became a confused man with nothing to live for. I started drinking and smoking heavily to top it all i had to move in with my father. I had to listen to him all the time telling me how disappointed he was at me. It was like i was blacklisted by every company here in the United State no one wanted to heir me even with my experience and how good i was with what i do it was impossible for me to get a job i had to do odd job to fund myself and move around town. My wife would not even let see my kids she did not want me around them. She thought i was a bad influence on them. But i was given a reason to keep living by a spell caster named Obudun Magonata. He help me get a new job in my own field and helped me get my wife back. I must be honest here i was never a fan or believer of all this kind things that has to do with charms and spell i always thought they were sham. Obudun Magonata showed me the other side of spells the good side of it. I will count myself lucky to have found him and get this ironically, i found his address on the internet by chance. I was not even going through anything related to spell i was looking for jobs and then stumbled on a couple of comment about him and how he help people. I only called him when all my options failed he was my last card and he just clicked. Obudun Magonata cast a Good Luck spell for me and also a Love Spell to get my wife back. Honestly i gave him money to help me get the materials for the spell which he did. He did not ask i pay him for the service rendered. He told me his spell casting gift was free hence he help people for free. He also told me after i get my new job in two months i will be promoted to executive manager and it all happen all what he told me happen. He told me he was going to make my wife come back even when see started seeing another man and that this time she was going to be mine forever through any crisis. My family has never been this happy since Obudun Magonata help me repair my life with his wonderful spell. If any of you reading this want anything in this world that seems impossible to get, i will tell you to contact Obudun Magonata with this email (spiritsofobudunmagonata@(yah oo). com) i think and i know he is the quickest road that leads to where you find happiness and all the best things in life…rewrite this email in its real format to use..

[Reply]
Alonso Robert

July 26, 2015 at 10:52 am Reply

+/If your wondering how to regain the all you lost during your addiction mostly family and job, the first thing is to remember it my never happen! Even if you’re putting consistent effort into changing your way of thinking and living, that doesn’t necessarily mean every family member is going to be ready to dive in to a new relationship. Sometimes, a family’s trust has been unraveling over years and years. It won’t be rebuilt over night or at all.The best thing to do in early recovery is either to focus on living sober and healthy. Quitting drugs, or no longer drinking, isn’t sufficient change for the addict. Your entire perspective on life, patterns of thinking, and living habits also need to change Otherwise, you’re essentially the same addict or alcoholic, only without the substance or just contact this spell caster he has helped a lot of people get their lives back including me when all seem to be hopless he always shrine the light of remdeption and hope. He fix all problem and i know this because i am writing this from my personal experience.If you have been reading comment online about this spell caster Obudun Magonata it will be easy for me to tell you this that he couldn’t get any more really that he is already. I have come to a conclusion that the gift he possess and his good heart are the strongest most powerful thing i have ever known. He is the most straight forward person and most understanding anyone can ever meet. He did not even ask for my money he just asked me to get materials that will be needed for the spell and that was it. To start, i am an alcoholic and also have a strong addiction for gambling. I lost almost a 100 grand on internet gambling and still did not stop at the same time i was drinking heavily i got suspended form work for a duration of four years because of my drinking problem & my home, i destroyed it with by myself. I was unfaithful to my wife several times and she knew what was happening, i kept yelling over nothing on my girls. My addiction to gambling and drinking was complimentary i was losing a lot of money and still playing and was drinking a lot to calm my nerves. The addiction made me numb my feelings was gone. My wife , my girls saw me as a monster. I remember this day, my wife told me it as my second girl’s birthday the other week and my responds was “grown *** girls don’t celebrate their birthday and if she wanted to she can as well go get a job so she can use want she earn to celebrate every day of her life”. I still can’t believe i said that to my wife and on top of that her sister was right there. My wife was hurt it was written all over her face her face and she told me ” I don’t even know who you are any more where is the man that use to be the human shield of this family ? that man would never had said anything to hurt me or his kids you don’t even care that you are scaring h*** out of this girls? one more of this and i am out” there i told her i don’t need them they were weighing me down that there were burden on me. Those words still hunts me till this day i can believe i really said all those words. My wife left me and off course with the kids and foolish drunk me happily signed the divorce papers. Honestly i don’t know maybe it because i was drunk most of the the day, i felt go i get gambling and kept drinking losing big and winning little waking up with different ladies on my bed every morning. I was like this for two years, and i felt i was on top of the world but my friend made me see i had nothing anymore his wife won’t let him talk to me or hang out with me i gradually felt empty. At a point i saw i needed to get clean and actually committed to my self to AA off course it was hard to admit but with my friends help i got committed. I was six months clean from alcohol and gambling when i discovered my wife was see another man and they were going to get married. I was still in love with her. She was mad when she saw me, she wanted nothing to do with me, my girls hated me because of me they could not even look at me. I tried to get close and got a restraining order. I needed to be my family again i know i ruined it by myself i just wanted to make it up to them i failed then and i wanted to redeem myself to show them the man that use to be the human shield of his family is back i found him again. Obudun Magonata was the man that help me made it happen. It was the course of find a away to reach my wife i found this great spell caster. I did not have the privilege of meeting but like he told other he had helped, some of them met him in real time. He told me after the spell casting my wife , my child will love me like we never fell apart they would know i messed up but they will not care about it any more. I got the materials that was required of me by i got i mean i asked him to help me sending over to him the total cost because most of the materials where only found in the heart of Libya. Just after the spell process was concluded a package was sent to me i can’t disclose its content but it rest easy it could not even harm a fly. He told me what to do with it and all he said will happen happened. I had my family back my wife , my child and i are once again that happy family i lost. I was still on suspension he told he i will get a call to come back to work and i did just after all he did for me. This spell caster he has something that saves lives. Am glad i met him all he promised me he did i wish i could me more grateful. I will leave his email contact like those other person that did in there comment or article which ever this is spiritsofobudunmagonata ‘ at ‘ ‘ yahoo ‘ ‘ dot ‘ ‘ com . I know you all know how to make use of this email because email have a standard format use it in that form+/

[Reply]
Alan Pratt

July 30, 2015 at 12:03 pm Reply

My Name is Dan Anelos ..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster when i contact this man called otisdarko60@yahoo.com Execute some business..He is really powerful..My wife divorce me with no reason for almost 4 years and i tried all i could to have her back cos i really love her so much but all my effort did not work out.. we met at our early age at the college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and she woke up one morning and she told me she’s going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when she came back from work she tender to me a divorce letter and she packed all her loads from my house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have her back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 4 years…So when i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for her full name and her picture..i gave him that..At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos have tried so many spell casters and there is no solution…so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that she’s with a man and that man is the reason why she left me…The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring her back.but i never believe all this…he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days..3 days later,she called me herself and came to me apologizing and she told me she will come back to me..I cant believe this,it was like a dream cos i never believe this will work out after trying many spell casters and there is no solution..The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and my wife got pregnant a month later..we are now happy been together again and with lovely kid..This spell caster has really changed my life and i will forever thankful to him..he has helped many friends too with similar problem too and they are happy and thankful to him..This man is indeed the most powerful spell caster have ever experienced in life..Am Posting this to the Forum in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out..you can reach him here: otisdarko60@yahoo.com… CONTACT THIS GREAT AND POWERFUL SPELL CASTER CALLED OTIS DARKO … HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS : otisdarko60@yahoo.com … CONTACT HIM NOW AND BE FAST ABOUT IT SO HE CAN ALSO ATTEND TO YOU BECAUSE THE EARLIER YOU CONTACT HIM NOW THE BETTER FOR YOU TO GET QUICK SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS…

[Reply]
kate davies

August 2, 2015 at 2:56 pm Reply

My name is katedavies ,i live in Florida,USA,and I’m happily
married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem
occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so
terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he
never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn’t love me anymore.So
he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through
severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much
begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his
decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was
coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my
husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only
way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has
really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no
other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email
address of the spell caster whom he
visite [DR ADUDU] So the next morning,i sent a mail
to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will
get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never
believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do.
Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn’t call me
for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was
coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with
lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain
he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was
now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i
will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website ,if
you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to
“bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr ADUDU for bringing back my
husband ,and brought great joy to my family once again. [DR ADUDU], Thanks..

[Reply]
Ann Anthony

August 16, 2015 at 7:19 pm Reply

Hello, my name is Ann Anthony I’m from USA. I want to inform you all that there is a true SPIRITUAL POWERS that is genuine and real. I never really believed in any of these things but when I was losing my husband of PAUL after 6years of marriage, I needed help and somewhere to turn to as at that time my only hope was a suicide but thanks to a close friend whom made it possible for me to meet his Lordship, I was privileged to meet an old spiritualist that turned my life around for Good on a tour over here in the state. His Lordship; DR Agbaka Okoibhole (CHAIRMAN OF ASSOCIATION OF WITCHES AND WIZARD, WORLDWIDE) has made me a happy woman again. Several days later, my phone rang. PAUL was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the great man opened him up to how much I loved and needed him. I have learnt much more through Dr Agbaka that we (HUMAN) believes that what ever happened to us is normal but i am not here to convince anyone but most things that happened to us are controlled from the spiritual, they opened his eyes to how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try it. It will bring you a wonderful surprises as well as your lover back to you. The way things were meant to be.” you can contact him onokoagbaks@gmail.com

[Reply]
Qiaotaotao Chen

August 16, 2015 at 8:19 pm Reply

Hello Sara!

I really enjoy your post.
I had thought a page such as this did not exist until now!
it is very sad to hear about ones loss of a loved one that was suppose to be….

I am with a Chinese man from Beijing ( first time with a Chinese man), but for me, i never had to go to China to meet him, no.

him and I met on a dating app for the cell phone! At first he was far to shy to message me to say hello but he kept looking at my profile over and over. I messaged him for the first time and we exploded into wonderful conversations! It did not take him long to ask me out on a date so we can meet in person!
our first date was A classic dinner and a movie but with very shy cuddling added!
he would not let me spend any of my money nor did he want me to open any door!
after a few days, he texted me and asked me out for the second time! He bought me a beautiful red dress and a black top for an under shirt and we went to a beautiful place with a good water view!
he had told me that he told his room mate all about me already!
after the second date, he couldn’t stay away from me for an entire day and when he had to, it was hard for him to do so, he drove two hours to my house from his and back to his house every day just to see me. before i knew it, he has me living with him because he wants to protect me from all the bad that has happened to me. He has already been talking about what our kids will look like and when we can get married! My Chinese man is pretty good at english and he is teaching me Chinese but as I read your article out loud to him, he told me that at times a Chinese family can except a deep relationship if the Chinese family sees their son as being happy with his lover. My Boyfriend wishes for me to meet his parents as i have already spoke to his mother over the phone. My boyfriend’s mother already sees me as his wife, his partner! He does treat me better than any man i have ever been with in my life!
My boyfriend has been looking for wedding bands for a while now but wishes to marry me both in america and in China! He looked me in the eyes and told me ” Good Chinese men only marry once in their life time, when he finds a woman that is worthy of his love, than he will ask for her hand”
he also told me ” I do not understand how men and women can marry many times in life”
he already calls me his wife and we are not married yet. So Sara, only SOMETIMES does it matter to the parents only if your love is in China with his family. It is very different for me beings my partner and most of his family has been living here in America for a good while now and has learned quite a bit about the American ways!
p.s My Chinese partner wanted me to make a Chinese Facebook account to protect me from all bad people he seen on my old account!

谢谢：）

[Reply]
Phalla EM

August 18, 2015 at 12:41 pm Reply

Thank you so much for your sharing!! your
experience is really useful for me. now i’m dating a Chinese guy, well he is
really sweet with his protection and always give me a warmth and comfortable
feeling. anyway, i still have problem with our relationship, if it can go on
well or not, coz we don’t have much time together, and also we are in different
culture too, I’m Cambodian. if any advise please share me!! Best Regards,
Phalla,

[Reply]
Rosla Loveu

August 22, 2015 at 10:23 am Reply

If you have been reading comment online about this spell caster Akpe Osilama it will be easy for me to tell you this that he couldn’t get any more really that he is already. I have come to a conclusion that the gift he possess and his good heart are the strongest most powerful thing i have ever known. He is the most straight forward person and most understanding anyone can ever meet. He did not even ask for my money he just asked me to get materials that will be needed for the spell and that was it. To start, i am an alcoholic and also have a strong addiction for gambling. I lost almost a 100 grand on internet gambling and still did not stop at the same time i was drinking heavily i got suspended form work for a duration of four years because of my drinking problem & my home, i destroyed it with by myself. I was unfaithful to my wife several times and she knew what was happening, i kept yelling over nothing on my girls. My addiction to gambling and drinking was complimentary i was losing a lot of money and still playing and was drinking a lot to calm my nerves. The addiction made me numb my feelings was gone. My wife , my girls saw me as a monster. I remember this day, my wife told me it as my second girl’s birthday the other week and my responds was “grown *** girls don’t celebrate their birthday and if she wanted to she can as well go get a job so she can use want she earn to celebrate every day of her life”. I still can’t believe i said that to my wife and on top of that her sister was right there. My wife was hurt it was written all over her face her face and she told me ” I don’t even know who you are any more where is the man that use to be the human shield of this family ? that man would never had said anything to hurt me or his kids you don’t even care that you are scaring h*** out of this girls? one more of this and i am out” there i told her i don’t need them they were weighing me down that there were burden on me. Those words still hunts me till this day i can believe i really said all those words. My wife left me and off course with the kids and foolish drunk me happily signed the divorce papers. Honestly i don’t know maybe it because i was drunk most of the the day, i felt go i get gambling and kept drinking losing big and winning little waking up with different ladies on my bed every morning. I was like this for two years, and i felt i was on top of the world but my friend made me see i had nothing anymore his wife won’t let him talk to me or hang out with me i gradually felt empty. At a point i saw i needed to get clean and actually committed to my self to AA off course it was hard to admit but with my friends help i got committed. I was six months clean from alcohol and gambling when i discovered my wife was see another man and they were going to get married. I was still in love with her. She was mad when she saw me, she wanted nothing to do with me, my girls hated me because of me they could not even look at me. I tried to get close and got a restraining order. I needed to be my family again i know i ruined it by myself i just wanted to make it up to them i failed then and i wanted to redeem myself to show them the man that use to be the human shield of his family is back i found him again. Akpe Osilama was the man that help me made it happen. It was the course of find a away to reach my wife i found this great spell caster. I did not have the privilege of meeting but like he told other he had helped, some of them met him in real time. He told me after the spell casting my wife , my child will love me like we never fell apart they would know i messed up but they will not care about it any more. I got the materials that was required of me by i got i mean i asked him to help me sending over to him the total cost because most of the materials where only found in the heart of Libya. Just after the spell process was concluded a package was sent to me i can’t disclose its content but it rest easy it could not even harm a fly. He told me what to do with it and all he said will happen happened. I had my family back my wife , my child and i are once again that happy family i lost. I was still on suspension he told he i will get a call to come back to work and i did just after all he did for me. This spell caster he has something that saves lives. Am glad i met him all he promised me he did i wish i could me more grateful. I will leave his email contact like those other person that did in there comment or article which ever this is chiefpriestakpeosilamaspellcast ‘ at ‘ ‘ yahoo ‘ ‘ dot ‘ ‘ com ~~~

[Reply]
Louise Damen

September 20, 2015 at 3:16 pm Reply

How to restore a failing relationship Unlike the movies we see, every relationship will not always been happy forever. Something or factors are always there to drop the relationship you have given all. It may be due to dishonesty, failing to funding, lack of understanding, the requirement of unemployment and so on. It will take more than a lot to save a relationship failing to take i’ve been there. Now I know some ways that can help restore a failing relationship that will work, it forms the background to the latest high ultimate way I know. Understanding: Understanding is a way to restore a default relationship.But as easy as it sounds, it is the most difficult task accomplish.Why is it? let see. In a relationship is like to be that person who has never heard as he or she does not exist. Men feel like everything he says or does is just because they are men and they think they need to be still in charge because men are heard and women feel like they have need to be heard and their opinion counts a lot. If the two can not balance this, I see no hope for this relationship because after so many struggles resulting from misunderstandings they call the end. Stable finances: This is especially for men. It is important to have a stable finance, because a lot of bad things can happen due to financial difficulties. Even if your spouse choose to stay with you through troubled times, you can see that the default and before you know little things and talk about money leads to fight and as you know the relationship falls. But stable finances can restore a failing relationship in a measure before some other factors plans. Couple Counseling: This for a very long time is the last point of almost all couples before the final relationship fall.Here terminal are either restored or destroyed.Couple Council recorded a large amount of success over the years, but does not guarantee that the relationship will remain strong for long time.Studies show that most relationships recorded by the board experienced a positive change for up to 3-5 years before failing again and some even comes experienced no change. I’m not saying couples therapy does not work I simply say, it does not really guarantee a lasting relationship. D’Amour spell: For me, this is the only way that you and someone you love will always be, as they have promised you. My marriage had its largest penalty the board, understanding and all the things I wrote above, and the only thing that worked for me was the Ajayi Ololo fate did for me. It was the only help I seeked that actually worked for me which is why I say is the Ultimate.My friend who advised me to contact a spell caster remained married to her husband for ten years and some months now because of love Ajayi Ololo fate of her.I can not speak of my own because its just been two months .I you want to save your relationship Contact your roulette with this email ajayiololo @ (yahoo). com. Warning: use this email in the regular mail format—————

[Reply]
Babylove

September 28, 2015 at 8:58 am Reply

I had a chinese boyfriend and we’ve living together for a year and a half but then sad news came up his ex girlfriend back to his hometown appeared with a baby and claiming that he is the father of the child and it hurts so bad but we talked and he promised to fix everything that even he have son he will never marrybthe girl. But then i had my vacation for almost 2 months he told me that his parents and the girls parents discuss about the marriage he he doesn’t have any choice but to do so because his son needs to have this hukou thing. After only a week of his marriage he contacted me and asking me to give him a chance to explain i told him we don’t need to talk that he is married and have a son now. But when i came back to china i was so surprised that he is waiting for me at the airport i was speechless and I don’t know what to feel all the anger is gone my heart melted we stay in shanghai for one day talk all day discuss a lot of things. Then i told him to give me time then I decided to try it again with him yes i did even i know he is married he promised me that he will fixed everything its been a year and everything seems fine. I had my vacation again for a month then I noticed that i was delayed I bought a pt and check turned out positive i go to my doctor OB to make sure its not a mistake but i am really pregnant i was scared and worried about what will happen then i told him he was shocked and he told me he is scared that he can’t have another kid not now. But what should i do. I came back to china one month he didn’t show up he contacted me but never show himself he said he needs to think he is confused and everything i said ok but then after a week of silence he contacted me again and asked me to abort the baby he wants me to have an abortion at first i was shocked about his answer but then i go with him to the hospital im already 13weeks by that time we chacked and he saw the ultrasound u saw his face while looking at the minitor he looks confused but then after all the checking he asked me if i can stay at the hospital for 3days cause the baby is getting big and i need a major operation to remove it. I answered him I don’t want to do it i never agree to do it i just go with you to know if the baby is ok now if you don’t want to do anything about this baby just disappear its ok! But he answered me its mine and im just worried how can i marry you if i am already married how can i give the baby a good life. For me i think its bullshit to make an excuse just to kill a life i told him im the mother this is my body its my decision to make and if i say no then its no accept it we are over so live your life as what you used to. Now my question is my baby gonna be ok if i gave birth here in china the father still contacting me and still convincing me to kill my baby what an ass****! Even i told him that i will not bother him he still doesn’t want to stop. What should i do?

[Reply]
Babylove

September 28, 2015 at 9:10 am Reply

I just felt very sad after almost being together as a couple for 2 and a half year almost 3years this happens and its like its so easy for him to throw it all unbelievable now i am 14weeks pregnant and I decided to keep my baby with or without him or his help.

[Reply]
Babylove

September 28, 2015 at 9:12 am Reply

I had a chinese boyfriend and we’ve living together for a year and a half but then sad news came up his ex girlfriend back to his hometown appeared with a baby and claiming that he is the father of the child and it hurts so bad but we talked and he promised to fix everything that even he have son he will never marrybthe girl. But then i had my vacation for almost 2 months he told me that his parents and the girls parents discuss about the marriage he he doesn’t have any choice but to do so because his son needs to have this hukou thing. After only a week of his marriage he contacted me and asking me to give him a chance to explain i told him we don’t need to talk that he is married and have a son now. But when i came back to china i was so surprised that he is waiting for me at the airport i was speechless and I don’t know what to feel all the anger is gone my heart melted we stay in shanghai for one day talk all day discuss a lot of things. Then i told him to give me time then I decided to try it again with him yes i did even i know he is married he promised me that he will fixed everything its been a year and everything seems fine. I had my vacation again for a month then I noticed that i was delayed I bought a pt and check turned out positive i go to my doctor OB to make sure its not a mistake but i am really pregnant i was scared and worried about what will happen then i told him he was shocked and he told me he is scared that he can’t have another kid not now. But what should i do. I came back to china one month he didn’t show up he contacted me but never show himself he said he needs to think he is confused and everything i said ok but then after a week of silence he contacted me again and asked me to abort the baby he wants me to have an abortion at first i was shocked about his answer but then i go with him to the hospital im already 13weeks by that time we chacked and he saw the ultrasound u saw his face while looking at the minitor he looks confused but then after all the checking he asked me if i can stay at the hospital for 3days cause the baby is getting big and i need a major operation to remove it. I answered him I don’t want to do it i never agree to do it i just go with you to know if the baby is ok now if you don’t want to do anything about this baby just disappear its ok! But he answered me its mine and im just worried how can i marry you if i am already married how can i give the baby a good life. For me i think its bullshit to make an excuse just to kill a life i told him im the mother this is my body its my decision to make and if i say no then its no accept it we are over so live your life as what you used to. Now my question is my baby gonna be ok if i gave birth here in china the father still contacting me and still convincing me to kill my baby what an ass****! Even i told him that i will not bother him he still doesn’t want to stop. What should i do?

[Reply]
Thomas Jin

November 6, 2015 at 7:56 am Reply

I’m a Chinese man. Whatever it is, hope every foreign woman is taken care of by Chinese man decently, and live a comfortable life.

[Reply]
Riz

December 3, 2015 at 3:19 pm Reply

Hi.. I like some tips.
And it’s all true!

[Reply]
Riz

December 3, 2015 at 3:31 pm Reply

I had a chinese boyfriend, we’ve been together for almost two years. He had 2 children but we can’t be able to get married because he wasn’t divorce yet, but he and his ex wife seperated 5 years ago and had a boyfriend already. We we’re very happy with each other though sometimes our beliefs and tradition contradicting each other but we are trying to adjust. He is very sweet kind and loving, I love him so much. For now, we are long distance, cause I went back to my hometown but our communication is consistent. I can say chinese men are very nice and loving. For now I’m waiting to be his legal wife but I know it will take too long, but I’ll wait for the man that I loved the most.

[Reply]
Han

December 24, 2015 at 7:06 am Reply

Hi Sara! Thank you for the helpful article. I was hoping to get your insight on a Chinese guy I have met recently in Guangzhou. We saw each other a lot in the same place for a whole month before he first talked to me and gave me his wechat. Suddenly I have had to return home for a month due to personal reasons, but during that time he’s been texting nearly everyday, commenting on all my wechat posts, asked me on a date for when I go back next week and flirting quite a bit. At first I saw it like I would a western relationship, that he’s testing the waters and seeing how it goes. But now I’ve heard (before we’ve been on a date) that he’s already buying me gifts, asking about the meaning of a ring on my index finger and we had a big discussion about my future in China and he said he doesn’t want me to leave again. After reading a few articles now, does this mean he’s pretty serious? I’ve never had this kind of intensity so soon. In honesty, i think he’s very caring and a potential partner. What do you think? :O

[Reply]
Lisaying

January 31, 2016 at 6:13 am Reply

Hi, I had dated a Chinese guy and we had been together for 9 months but last year we had to break up because his parents didn’t want us to be together as I’m not full chinese I’m just half and I can’t speak chinese at all. It was sad that his parents used to agreed with our relationship when my ex was in the same country as me but once he gone back to China the problem started he told me that we need to break up because of his parents. Why parents had to break us apart when they already know me really in loved and planned future together.

[Reply]
AY Reply:
February 1st, 2016 at 12:34 pm
Hi Lisaying,
I am a Korean has Chinese boyfriend and his parents don’t wanna us be together since I am not a Chinese. We’ve been having this problem for about a year. He told me time can change them and I decided to trust him and our love but still this makes me worry always. (We almost broke up due to this matter but he determined to be with me.) I don’t care my marriage is delayed because I wanna focus on my career more now and my age isn’t that late to get married here in Korea(I think I am already old a bit to be a bride in China).However I am afraid that his parents won’t change their mind.. We always talk about our future and love each other so much. Actually I can understand his parents cuz I am a Korean has a similar culture but think they should their son is an adult can choose, make and mange his life by himself…

[Reply]
Annnnnnnnnabanana

February 19, 2016 at 5:40 pm Reply

Hi. Good day! I am currently confused about this Taiwanese guy who I was with like three times. He kept on sending sweet messages and we kept on having good conversations almost every day of the week. But last Valetines, i was with him celebrating the day. We went to watch a movie. We were sitting at the back and watching Revenant. While we were watching, i felt him going closer onto me. Like his arm was at may back and trying to attempt to hold my hand. He was like finding a chance to hold my hands and when i asked him why? He said i just wanna know how big your hand is and tried to compare his hands lol. I like him so much so I gave him my hand and we watched movie while he was holding my hand. And he started kissing my cheek and because I like him, i looked at him face to face so he kissed my lips. We started making out while holding hands. And when we got home he texted me like “you’re a good kisser ?” and the next morning I was asking what was the meaning of it, why did he kiss me while holding my hands. He said “I shouldn’t have done that” like “he doesn’t like me” and started to avoid me until now. I don’t know what’s going on with him. What do you think the meaning of that scenario? I mean, does he really don’t like me like that? Or he’s just confused because he said “i am not looking for a relationship” ?

[Reply]
kay25

February 20, 2016 at 5:17 pm Reply

I know this guy who is studying here from China. He gave me an origami heart on Valentines day and always brings me this really tasty Chinese candy. He always seems happy to see me and he is always attending to my every need even when I don’t say anything… he just knows 0.0 He has been helping me with my Chinese and is very eager to talk like a native speaker so he can talk to me better. He has also been trying to convince me to stay for my masters degree ever since I told him I was leaving next semester. I see him almost every night to study and he always waits till I am done and then walks me to my bike and once he walked me all the way home. He also invited me to his apartment and said he would make me food. I don’t know if he thinks of me as just a good American friend or what… and I’m way to shy to ask and I suspect he is a little shy as well. I really hope it’s not just friendship he wants because he is pulling me in with his beautiful smile…

[Reply]
Carrie

May 31, 2016 at 6:41 pm Reply

Hi I’m currently dating with a chinese guy. Actually he’s really nice we enjoyed each others company. I know he likes me but still I dont know our status. Based on what i read here, hus father saw me thru video call but just show my face. And yes he’s really thoughtful offer me water to drink. Food to eat. He’s an amazing chinese guy I’ve met. It may be a temporary but what’s important is he makes me happy. Just take the risk.

[Reply]
Secret girl

July 20, 2016 at 12:50 am Reply

Hi, my boyfriend is Chinese and I am not. He is wonderful, loving, caring, generous and everything I’d ever want from a boyfriend. Except for one thing. He’s keeping our relationship a secret from his family especially from his mom. He is very close to his family. I asked him once what his plans are and he got very frustrated with himself because it appeared that he doesn’t have one. Is there a chance that it will be wise for us to continue this relationship? But I love him, and I truly believe he loves me too… Please help, thanks

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
July 20th, 2016 at 12:53 am
Hi! How long have you been in a relationship? One reason he keeps it a secret is that he isn’t sure if you two will get married and he only wants to introduce you if you are planning to get married. It sounds like you should have a honest conversation with him about where you want your relationship to evolve.

[Reply]
Blind Item Reply:
January 3rd, 2019 at 3:40 am
I have a question, i Have a Chinese boyfriend and he is from north of China. I met him online and we are about a months now and honestly i already have a son, he is 8. At first i didn’t know that things will get serious, he already have plans for us in the future. Now i struggle thinking if will he accept me as a single mom. I keep on thinking and believing that if he really loves me if will be not a problem but half of me still in pain thinking of it. I love him so much and that makes me more afraid to tell him about it and now I”m thinking that i will tell it to him when we finally meet in person because i think its better for me to explain in person, I’m so confused.

[Reply]
miracle sunday

September 3, 2016 at 4:36 pm Reply

Hello every body my name is romeo Jennifer from USA Thanks to Dr. Akkata for helping me get pregnant after 8 years of marriage with my husband Garry without no child. We have been to several hospital for checkup and the doctors keep telling us that nothing is wrong with us. so my friend at my work place linked me with this great spell caster Dr. Akkata who helped me to get pregnant…. now am a happy mother of a baby boy, and i am also pregnant now to have another baby. thanks to you Dr. Akkata… i am shearing this testimony to tell Dr. Akkata thanks!!!! for what he did for me and my husband by getting pregnant with is powerful spell. and assist in saving my marriage and also bring joy and happiness to my family.I want to use this medium to tell other women out there who is having pregnancy issues not to wait for years like i did. Because the solution of your problem is right there with Dr. Akkata so email him so that he can help you. I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact Dr. Akkata for help. he can also help you with your own problem today..there is no harm in trying. Email him on doctorakkataspelltemple@gmail.com, call or whatsapp him +2348108662232. Wish you success.

[Reply]
Simi

October 7, 2016 at 5:10 am Reply

Dear Sara,

I’m not sure if you are still reading this, but I find your blog very inspiring. It’s quite touching me too.
I just had to break up with my taiwanese boyfriend, because his parents didn’t approve of a western (german) girl. Even though they have never seen me or met me. It was so hard for me to see him acting differently and at times very cold-hearted too, after he has told them about me. He’s now in Germany completing his Master’s Degree and it is very important to him. Sometimes I thought it was all he ever cared about, so I thought it would be better for him to just end things. It turns out that it was a right thing to do. At least now he doesn’t have ongoing fights with his family, and he can concentrate on his studies. That way he will have good grades and will get a good job and make enough money to support his family.
The really hurtful thing about this is, that I fell in love with him and he didn’t with me. He said he was controlling his feelings for me. I was ready to work hard on it, to make compromises and to perfect my Chinese so I could talk with his family in the future. You know he made the first move and at the beginning he seemed to be very sure. But then it changed all of a sudden. He said he doesn’t want to committ, so he broke up, but then regretted it and came back. He told me that I treat him like a baby and like he was stupid and that he doesn’t believe we can make it anyway. I really didn’t know what I was doing wrong, besides being nice to him. Maybe because no girl has ever been nice to him? I don’t know.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, that I can’t help but feeling very stupid, useless and just not good enough. I just really wish, he had reached out for me too and fought for this…

:(

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
October 9th, 2016 at 2:13 pm
Hi Simi, that’s a difficult situation you have been in. Remember, that you are not stupid or useless, sometimes relatioships just don’t work out because the two people aren’t meant for each other. It’s very hard to get through when you fall for someone, but they don’t share feelings as deeply as you, but I believe something better is waiting for you around the corner. Take care!

[Reply]
Zhao FU Reply:
October 10th, 2016 at 1:15 am
Hi, Simi. I am Chinese guy who is studying Master Degree in Europe also. I met my girlfriend here in Finland (she is from Finland), my family didn’t want me to have foreign girlfriend before, but after I took her to my home, all my family members and relatives like her, and those stereotypes about westerner were removed somehow.
But meanwhile, from your description, I can see the main point is if he really loves you or serious with your relationship, if yes, you both can continue. Another thing is, I can feel there are some misunderstandings due to different culture, that you think you are so nice to him, but probably some of your behavior made him feel losing face or not well respected or else, and he said he was treated like a baby. The effective solution is always COMMUNICATION, I also had misunderstandings with my girlfriend, but we everytime talk franckly and explain why I think like this and what your behavior disappointed me, etc. Misunderstandings need to be removed soon, otherwise, more and more problems are accumulated, and end up with no solution and break up.

[Reply]
Blind Item Reply:
January 3rd, 2019 at 3:38 am
I have a question, i Have a Chinese boyfriend and he is from north of China. I met him online and we are about a months now and honestly i already have a son, he is 8. At first i didn’t know that things will get serious, he already have plans for us in the future. Now i struggle thinking if will he accept me as a single mom. I keep on thinking and believing that if he really loves me if will be not a problem but half of me still in pain thinking of it. I love him so much and that makes me more afraid to tell him about it and now I”m thinking that i will tell it to him when we finally meet in person because i think its better for me to explain in person, I’m so confused.

[Reply]
steve

October 24, 2016 at 4:33 am Reply

I am a Chinese man looking for a date. Hit me up….

[Reply]
Sara Jaaksola Reply:
November 1st, 2016 at 1:23 pm
Match making services start at 10k rmb ;)

[Reply]
steve Reply:
January 11th, 2017 at 12:15 pm
2 months later i am still looking
i am indeed chinese but just not as methodical as other chinese guys
10k rmb is actually chicken feed…
are you really willing to help? my job makes it hard for me to meet women….software engineering pbbbbb…
happy new year to you and your hubby

[Reply]
nenzyshon

December 12, 2016 at 3:54 am Reply

I am sharing my testimony to everyone that has tried everything
possible and had lost hope on how they can get their ex back, I am
from New York, USA, i want you all to know that Dr mujahid did a spell
work for me and after 2days of his spell cast, my ex came back to me
without any delay, i am really happy now that we are together again
and we are living happily with so much love and respect for each
other, so i will advise everyone to ask for this same help of Dr mujahid
so that you can be happy again and make your dreams and wishes you
have with your ex come true and he also specialized in other speritual
cases. Thanks so much If you need his help you can contact him through
this email (drmujahidspellcaster@gmail.com, or you can ‘Call +27731168141 or Whats App
+27785873807

HE IS GOOD IN THE FOLLOWING;
RETRIVE LOST MONEY,
BBROKEN MARRAIGGES;
CURING ALL KIND OF DEASES;
CURT CASES AND MONEY SPELL’

[Reply]
nenzyshon

December 21, 2016 at 3:39 am Reply

I am sharing my testimony to everyone that has tried everything
possible and had lost hope on how they can get their ex back, I am
from New York, USA, i want you all to know that Dr mujahid did a spell
work for me and after 2days of his spell cast, my ex came back to me
without any delay, i am really happy now that we are together again
and we are living happily with so much love and respect for each
other, so i will advise everyone to ask for this same help of Dr mujahid
so that you can be happy again and make your dreams and wishes you
have with your ex come true and he also specialized in other speritual
cases. Thanks so much If you need his help you can contact him through
this email (drmujahidspellcaster@gmail.com, or you can ‘Call +27731168141 or Whats App
+27785873807

HE IS GOOD IN THE FOLLOWING;
RETRIVE LOST MONEY,
BBROKEN MARRAIGGES;
CURING ALL KIND OF DEASES;
CURT CASES AND MONEY SPELL’

[Reply]