03/13/13

The Art of Being Misunderstood In China

Recently I’ve received lots of interesting comments to my old post In China I’m Both Fat And Beautiful and wanted to answer them in this blog post. Many of the commenters saw me as self-centered person who doesn’t want to adapt to the Chinese way of living. But is this really the case?

When you live in a foreign country you encounter numerous new things. And when the new culture is as different as Chinese culture is from Finnish culture, you can’t just hop in and get used to it right from the start. You need to use all your senses to get into the new culture and way of living.

What you also do, is to spend amazing amount of time pondering over all the new things that happen to you. It’s a mess in your brain! Many of us feel like writing our thoughts down in order to make some sense to it all, and that’s why we write blogs.

There are so many things that I think are weird in China. It’s not good or bad, just different from what I’m used to. I need to talk it through in order to get used to it later on. And by writing this blog I hope to share me ideas so when someone else moves to China for the very first time they have an idea what kind of things they will encounter here so they can get ready before hand. So that they know they aren’t the only one feeling a bit lost in China.

So what kind of comments did I get then?

According to many comments:

I don’t want to adapt to life in China
I want China to revolve around me and get adapted to my way of living
I’m self-centered
I don’t respect China or Chinese
I have forgotten the saying When in Rome do as the Romans do

There are even more comments on some Chinese discussion forum, but I haven’t checked them all yet.

I haven’t encountered these kinds of comments from other foreigners, only from Chinese. What could be the reason for this?

When I say Chinese people don’t line up, is it an observation or a criticism? When I admit it feels bad to be described as fat does it mean I’m not willing to adapt to Chinese lifestyle?

I do think it’s super super weird that Chinese people pay so much attention to skin colour and like telling each other if they are fatter or slimmer than when they met last time. Why is it so weird? Because I lived 20 years of my life living in a culture were these kinds of things were considered weird or even rude. Is it easy to change your mental thinking of twenty years? No, it absolutely isn’t easy.

For others who are planning to move to China or are living here already. Because of cultural differences you might get misunderstood by others and you also might misunderstand the local people for the same reason. It’s an adventure to move to a new country, a process of highs and lows.

I like to think that there isn’t good or bad when comparing two cultures, there is just different. New new habit, way of thinking or custom might feel weird, but that’s because it’s new to you. After a while you will be able to make better decisions about if you want to make that part of culture your own or not.

So what is my philosophy of living in China? Experience us much as you can. Learn the local language in order to communicate with Chinese people and get deeper into the culture. Respect differences and new ideas. Different doesn’t equal bad. If something feels weird for you try to find out why Chinese people are doing or saying something the certain way. You might find surprising reasons behind the customs.

There is a lot I would like to say about this topic, but I will end this blog post with a Finnish saying: If you don’t have anything good to say, better to say nothing at all.

03/12/13

New Semester At Sun Yat-Sen University

New semester has started at Sun Yat-Sen University. During my previous three semesters here I have received the Excellent Student Award (being best at my class, grades 80+) two times and once I got a Didn’t-Skip-Classes Award (or something like that, for someone who skipped a very very few classes and grades were 70+).

So I have a lot to prove this semester! Lets take a look what kind of courses I’m having this semester.

Compulsory courses

综合

As always, there is the Comprehensive Chinese course which includes vocab, grammar, reading and writing. We changed to a new book series for this course and are now using Road To Success Advanced. It’s very different from the last book series we used the previous three semesters. New book is a welcomed change, but unfortunately our teacher is a tiny bit dry. We had such a great and entertaining teacher last semester, that I can’t help but to feel bit disappointed. My biggest challenge have always been how to be motivated when studying boring material, any tips?

计算机

Computer class! During this class we will learn how to use Word, Power Point and Excel in Chinese. I’m not sure how much I will learn during this class as I know how to use those quite well already. But it’s a good idea to get used to the Chinese interface. This course should help us write our thesis and make Power Point Presentations, or PPTs, if we work as a teacher some day. The teacher is young and energetic, so that makes this course better.

偏误分析

Error Analysis is a course that will help us to teach our students and correct their mistakes and errors. Hopefully it will also help me to correct some of my own errors as well. During this course we will need material to analyse, which will be a bit challenging for me. There aren’t so many Finns around here whose Chinese I could analyse, but I hope to find at least one or two. Or find more online. Teacher is young, but seems to know very well what she is doing. I think this will be a good course.

教育心理学

Educational Psychology will be one of the best courses this semester, at least that’s how I feel like just after first class with the teacher. We will learn how students learn the best and how a teacher uses this information in order to help the students. I’ve always been interested in learning methods, strategies and such, so I’m really looking forward what we will learn during this course. This teacher taught us last semester as well and she’s great.

毕业论文写作

Thesis writing! Of course we need a course to teach us how to write a thesis and this course is all about it. We will learn everything from how to choose a topic to the layout of the paper it self. One important task this semester is to choose a teacher to guide you with your thesis. The best teachers get chosen really quickly so I want to make my decision fast. I don’t want to end up with a young teacher without any experience. The teacher of this course is quite excellent, perhaps I should ask her.

太极拳

And then there is the Taiji, compulsory course for us degree students. I feel so lucky that I don’t have to use my head and think what to do on Friday evening as I have Taiji classes then! What a relief! (Or not…) There isn’t anything wrong with Taiji, I actually like it, but not in this setting. Not when there are 50 students and all of us just want to pass the stupid thing.

Selective courses

朗读与正音

Read aloud and correct pronunciation is the name of this course, just what I need! We will prepare texts at home to read to the teacher and she will correct us, that’s the basic pattern for this course. I hope to improve my tones and some tricky pronunciation point that I still haven’t got right (z c zh ch). This teacher was really strict when she was my Comprehensive Chinese teacher a year ago and I expect her to keep it like that.

中国民俗及体验

This might be the most fun course of the semester! On this course to Chinese Popular Customs our teacher will introduce as to interesting places in Guangzhou related to different popular customs on the area. We will then visit them our selves taking notes and photographing the visit. After that we will present our finding to the class. What a great idea for a course!

中国哲学

Chinese philosophy is taught by one of my favourite teachers, our Comprehensive Chinese teacher from last semester. I probably don’t do the exam on this course but just because of the teacher I’m willing to take the classes. I’m sure it will be entertaining and interesting at the same time.

That’s it!

So these are my courses this semester. During this semester we will decide our thesis topics, find a guiding teacher and finally write a 开题报告, Chosen Topic Report, or something like that to finalize our topic choose. Next Summer and Autumn will be all about writing the thesis of about 6000 characters, there’s a lot to learn before that!

03/8/13

Photos From Dragon’s Back Hike In Hong Kong

As all of you who follow my Facebook page know, I visited Hong Kong during the Chinese New Year holiday. The best destination I visited this time was absolutely the famous Dragon’s Back Hike. If you want to relax in a few hours hike in the middle of the nature, then this pretty easy hike is just for you!

Few tips:

Take the MTR to Shau Kei Wan station, then change to bus number 9 To Tei Wan, the hike starts right next to the bus stop, you can’t miss it!
Go during the morning or later during the day, avoid hot and harsh midday sun!
Take water and snacks with you
There are no trash bins along the road so remember not to litter!
For more infromatio check Discover Hong Kong

Get off on this bus stop, you will then see a sign and a map to the Dragon’s Back Bone.

One kilometer to the beginning of the Dragon’s Back Hike.

The view on top is amazing! During the hike you feel like you have left the bustling Hong Kong, even though your are on the Hong Kong Island! A great get-a-way for a few hours or for a full day!

No need to worry about getting lost, there are signs in evey crossroad.

From here (sign below) you can continue the walk to the beach or head to the bus station and back to the city.

02/19/13

On Dating Chinese Men

Last month Jocelyn over at Speaking of China wrote On Dating Chinese Men and asked us fellow bloggers to do the same. Her goal is to gather us mus reliable information about dating Chinese men as possible, so when others are searching it online they will get a better picture what is it really like to date a Chinese guy.

I dated a Chinese guy back in Finland already and have been living in China for three years now. The following tips are based on my own or my friends’ experiences.

Date to marry

Goal for a Chinese person to date is to get married and have a family. Of course there are exceptions to this rule, but most of the Chinese men out there date to marry They might start talking about it very early in the relationship in order to know if you have the same ideas about dating as he does.

Usually if you meet the parents it is a sign of a serious relationship, probably this guy wants to marry you if things continue going well with you.

Parents have the final say

Wether your Chinese boyfriend will continue to be with you or will marry you depends on his parents. If parents say no, then it usually is the end of the relationship sooner or later. You two might be able to work it out with the parents when they get to know you better, but parental acceptance is important even when both are Chinese.

If you two are 25 or older and the parents agree you being together, they will start asking when you two get married. When you get married they will start waiting for a grandson.

Taking care of you

Chinese guys are generally good at taking care of you, or at least a good Chinese man is. He might cook for you, or make sure you always have water to drink. Or he might go shopping with you and insists paying for everything. Chinese man is expected to and wants to take care of his loved one, to be the breadwinner of the family. It might be hard for him if his girlfriend earns more than him.

Language difficulties

Even if you speak fluent Chinese or he speaks fluent English you still might have language difficulties in your relationship. Perhaps his native language is a dialect of Chinese and you can’t understand a word they are saying in the family dinner table?

Or perhaps your Chinese is as terrible as his English but you want to make it work anyway? Be ready for lot of work and mutual understanding and patience to have a successful relationship. If necessary learn the local dialect in order to communicate with his family and relatives.

The good and the bad

I’ve got my heart broken by a Chinese guy, I’ve already felt the happiest with a Chinese guy. Dating someone outside your culture, especially from such a different culture as Chinese culture is, it isn’t easy. There will be hardships, misunderstandings and compromises has to be made, more than if you dated and married someone from your own country.

But at the same time you get a man who wants to take care of his family, is willing to work hard for everyone’s happiness and loves kids. Someone who knows why he is dating you and will let you know it too. Someone who haven’t even heard about commitment phobia.

So should you date a Chinese guy? Why not! If you meet a great Chinese guy then go for it, don’t let the stereotypes or someone’s bad experiences hold you back.

Are you dating a Chinese man at the moment? Or dated one but it ended? I would love to hear about your experiences on dating Chinese men!

Did you like this blog post? If you have been enjoining my blog I would appreciate if you wanted to vote my blog at the Lotus Blossom Award. My blog was nominated in the Chinese love blog category which inspired me to write this blog post On Dating Chinese Men.

02/8/13

Guangzhou Flower Fair 2013

Flower Fairs are a big tradition in Guangzhou before the Chinese New Year. Firework show being cancelled from now onwards the best way to celebrate the holidays is to visit different flower fair available all around the city. Tomorrow will be the last day of the flower fairs in Guangzhou.

I visited the Haizhu District Flower Fair at Binjiang West Road (滨江西路). You will need at least one hour, but better to prepare even more time. Besides flowers there is so much else to buy too. Anything you need to have a beautiful and tasty Spring Festival.