What is wrong with Western men in China?

Let me start with a story from last spring.

An Italian young man came to China as an exchange student to study Chinese. He and his fellow classmates enjoyed having fun on the weekends and usually headed to bars in downtown Guangzhou. He noticed that he got a lot of attention from Chinese girls just by doing nothing. Just by being a foreign man. Perhaps the muscles didn’t hurt either.

Soon he found himself a Chinese girlfriend and spent time with her and with his friends. But every time he went to a bar he didn’t want his girlfriend to come with him. Once he said something like this: “But I like those other girls too!”

Then one day his Italian girlfriend, who have been missing him for months, came to Guangzhou to see him. They went to dinner with his friends and the Italian girlfriend sat on the right side of him. Who sat on the left side? His Chinese girlfriend of course!

Luckily his Italian girlfriend wasn’t that naive and soon figured out what was going on with her “boyfriend”. She flew back to Italy and took one thing with her. His passport! I guess he deserved it.

No, I didn’t make this up. This is a true story and unfortunately just one of many situations between Chinese girls and Western men I’ve seen. I know men cheating on their girlfriends back home. Single men having fun with several Chinese girls and letting a girl think that she is special and his only girl. I have heard of husbands cheating their wife without getting caught.

What is wrong with these men? My theory is that because it’s easy for a Western man (even easier if you’re tall and good looking) to get attention and more from Chinese women. They are more popular here than back home. Suddenly there are so many girls around them that it gets to their heads. They start to think they are better than they are. They think that it’s impossible to get caught.

I don’t accept cheating at all. I know what it does to people and it’s nothing good. I have been myself cheated very very badly before I moved to China. Why don’t these men just man up and break up with their girlfriend or wife if they want someone else? Why they only think of themselves? Why they don’t feel responsible for their family that will get hurt?

Remember, not every Western man is like this. You don’t have to assure me that you don’t belong to this group. But you if you get angry after reading this, think for a minute, why are you angry to me about something you have done? I have seen enough cheating here in Guangzhou.

For all the Chinese girls reading this, take care of yourself. I don’t want to see your hurt. For all the good Western men out there, thank you.

  • Mark

    This really isn’t something specifically about men. It may seem that way in China, but only because of the large proportion of western men to chinese women.

    It’s more to do with which side of the relationship leaves home. It’s really not uncommon for girlfriends to go away, sleep around and come back to their boyfriends. Maybe not so much in China, but definitely you see it a lot in Africa, Caribbean and quite a bit in India too. And those girls are often sleeping with high-risk groups too. There’s one thing cheating on a partner, but another cheating and then passing on an STD.

    Also, in China, many of those local girls already have boyfriends or husbands.

    People see an opportunity to get something they have otherwise been lacking, and go for it. I blame it on short-term gratification that is very common in today’s society.

    *gets off high-horse* :)

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    Sara Reply:

    Every now and then there are news also in Finnish newspapers about middle-aged women going to Africa for a sex holiday. It’s not common, but it seem to happen.

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    JS Reply:

    Sara. juu, monet suomalaisnaiset tuntevat vetoa mustiin miehiin. Kai se on se evoluutio, joka vetää. Minunkin tyttöni tahtoo ihan kovasti nähä, onko sillä sellainen iso kalu, kuin media toitottaa.

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    john ricks Reply:

    They want to taste that BBC. Please don’t judge them!!! LOL

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    Toto Reply:

    Ok, I’m a western men, who looks average. I write my experiences.

    There is 2 types of western man: That ones, who knows he will be much more wanted by the chinese girls and use this well. These men are the ‘bad’ men. They just looking to be together with a more and more girls to have fun.

    The other type is like me. I had a long relationship at my country, but worked in a bad way, so when I come to here I was so happy to finish my relationship at home. After I met with a beautiful, nice charming and clever chinese girl. We started to dating, and we not touch each other until a half year. Later we moved together. Everything between us worked well, but I’m not a reach man, so need to decide, how to continue the life together. To bring a Chinese girl to a different culture is so hard, a lot of time after some years comes the truble when the girl want to go home, and go home together with the children and leave the husband back in west. Because the lifestyle is so so different between this two culture.

    In the western culture you have a lot of friends, and a lot of time the people have their own habits, when they want to be alone. As I see most of the chinese girl when go together with a man, want to be together with him all the time. This chokes the western people.

    So finally we brake up, and I will never start a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with a chinese girl, because I don’t want to break hearts. And I was so naiv to start a relationship before I know anything about this country and culture.

    Chinese girls have 3 types:
    One is the traditional chinese girl, who will never start a relationship with a westerner. The 2nd category is who start relationship, just because she knows some things about the western man. Here in china, sorry to say this, but half of the man are cheat the ladies, and not treat well with them. A lot of time they go to KTV-s to have fun with other girls, and they are not polite… These girls know that the western man much more polite with a girl and try to look what is the needs of the big ‘SHE’, because lot of westerners treat his girl as a queen.
    The 3rd type is that one, who want a better life and believe that the westerner’s are rich, and just want to find a husband.

    So these were my experience.

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    Sara Reply:

    Thank you for sharing your experience Toto. Dating a Chinese man or woman brings along a lot of cultural differences and challenges like you said. It’s not always easy to put two cultures together and manage a good relationship. Sorry to hear that it didn’t work out between you and your Chinese girlfriend, but you never know who amazing woman is waiting for you just behind the corner.

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    john ricks Reply:

    Fuck you. Being a Finnish Socialisism cunt

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    john ricks Reply:

    “Oh I’m oh entitled yet I can judge a man”

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    john ricks Reply:

    You’re coping big time. Men don’t go to Asia willingly. Female hypergamy is beyond belief.

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  • Collins

    What good Western men?

    If people put you on a pedestal, of course you’re going to be spoiled.

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  • Lisa

    You can’t just simply blame Western men. I’ve seen Chinese girls literally stepping over each other just to get to a Foreign guy, even if they KNOW he is already attached, snubbing the Western girlfriend even if she’s standing right there. And sadly, it’s often because they are desperate to get out of
    China. There is deception on both sides of these kinds of relationships. I knew one guy who dumped his girlfriend of 12 years within a week of moving to China because he has some kind of hidden Asian fetish, and the girls were manipulative enough to convince him that they will be more submissive, better wife material and ‘stay beautiful for longer’. It’s sick. But I’ve seen it happen so many times – loads of gorgeous Chinese women throwing themselves at some average White dude. But it happens to girls in foreign countries, too. If loads of attractive guys suddenly start giving you lots of attention then you’re bound to get a little arrogant, right? It does go to their heads, like you said.

    LOL I like that story – taking his passport, I guess since he has ‘all he needs’ in China now, he won’t be needing it anymore, huh? ;)

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    Sara Reply:

    I blame the one who cheats his/her girlfriend/boyfriend. If a Western guy is in a relationship and still seeks Chinese girls, then it’s the guys fault. If the Wester guy and the Chinese girl are both taken, then they are both making a mistake. You don’t have to cheat just because there is a line of girls/boys wanting you.

    I think he’s back to Italy now because he was here just for a student exchange. I guess he got a new passport from his embassy.

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    Grace Reply:

    I don’t think it applies only to western men.

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    C Reply:

    i agree. takes two people to make something (be tempted or persuaded) happen unless if it’s forced then it’s rape. Then that’s a real victim of circumstances

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    Crayzee Reply:

    LOL don’t try this at home though. Taking passports like that can get you into some deep ish. Westerners are generally admired in China. Some people let that get to their heads and ruin it for everyone else. I totally agree.

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  • I guess that’s what happens when you, all of a sudden, become the focus of everyone around you.

    I agree with Lisa. I’ve also seen Chinese girls go crazy to get the guy. And the guy doesn’t even have to be attractive… I remember, I was once having dinner in Beijing with a French businessman (short, bald, blond and blue eyes, kind of fat… and married) and there was this Chinese young girl trying so very hard to get involved with him… well, I’ll spare you the details, but it was a show. I’ll just say she succeeded, until the next morning, when the alcohol faded away from his body and the guy went back to being a respectable married man.

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    Sara Reply:

    People don’t like hearing it, but I agree that it’s easy for a Western man to get a Chinese girl even if he’s not that good looking. It should be a good thing that looks isn’t the most important thing, but I also know some very rude Western men dating friendly and lovely Chinese girls.

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  • (I want to add: There are also Chinese girls who wouldn’t touch a Laowai guy even with a stick… just watch 非诚勿扰 :D )

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    Sara Reply:

    非诚勿扰, one of my favourite Chinese dating shows! ;)

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    Peter Hu China Reply:

    yes,I like this dating show too,but some girls from this show are really bad,they love money than anything,which is called money worship

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    Fred Reply:

    Sure, as it’s used to be vice versa.. a Laowai guy touches those girls with HIS “stick”. ;)

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  • I think both men and women cheat. But more men do so than women I guess. And more Caucasian men do than Asian. But just because someone is throwing herself at you doesn’t justify your infidelity. It is unfortunate, but human nature is always flattered to have attention and will always find ways to gain it. But of course, cheating on your partner isn’t nice and certainly is destructive of trust and respect between two people. The decent thing to do is that if you want to cheat, break off the relationship with your partner. However, few are willing or honourable or men or women enough to do this. They always believe that they can have both the cakes and eat them too. Ah, the imbecility of human nature and the grossness of men and women of course!

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    Sara Reply:

    I don’t know who cheats the most, but I totally agree with you when you said “just because someone is throwing herself at you doesn’t justify your infidelity.”

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  • Anon

    Oh dear, what can I say? I have a lot of cheating stories about my Chinese boyfriend or like he says all of those girls are just his normal friends…for example when my Chinese boyfriend was 25 he got an email from a 16-year-old Finnish girl writing “Hi, do you still remember me? I’m the 16 year-old-girl you met at the New Year’s party together with my cousin and her boyfriend. I’m coming to meet my cousin and I’d like to see you again…” and my boyfriend’s latest was when he was already over 30 years old he met a Swedish 19-year-old girl who had studied Chinese language and was going for an exchange in China and of course my boyfriend wanted to offer her help when she would come to China so he made a secret email account with a fake name and a secret Facebook account with a fake name and at the same day the girl had add her as friend. Well, luckily I found her name and phone number in his cellphone and I know his email passwords so I guess they never met anymore. Same girl is in China again. And my boyfriend seems to be very jealous and upset of Western men dating pretty Chinese girls. He must regret a lot that I always tried to stop him going to the parties with German and African exchange students who always got lucky in Finnish bars but then again he sneak outside secretly many times coming home smelling beer and cigarette. But I’m the most stupid woman on this planet and always tried to convince myself that nothing has happened even though my boyfriend’s cellphone was out of use for weeks several times and he wents on his travels around Europe or China without telling me. I hope you Western or Chinese girls don’t meet him in China. He’s gone to his travels again after my plane left from China and guess who borrowed him money for his return ticket back home where he never returned according to his sister.

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    Sara Reply:

    Anon, I don’t know the whole story, but after reading your comment I want to say something.

    Your boyfriend sounds a lot like my ex Chinese boyfriend and that is not a good thing! The girl who was supposed to be “just a friend” was actually the girl with who my ex cheated on me for 6 months. Secret calls and emals, tell me about it. If you feel like you have to spy on your boyfriend, then there might be a good reason for it. But no matter what he have done, you’d better to take care of your self and forget your boyfriend.

    Do you have a feeling that if you would tell your friend all about your boyfriend, that your friend would tell you to break up? If yes, there’s your answer.

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  • Samuli

    As a guy this post is a good encouragement to visit China. I always thought Chinese ladies are very shy and scared of western guys, happy to hear it is the opposite(at least in some cases).

    But certainly agree with your opinion. Those guys clearly got no balls or they just think too much with their dick.

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    Amy Reply:

    It is true that many Chinese girls are too shy to talk to western guys,and it’s also ture that some girls are very open and eager to marry men from developed countries.

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    Sara Reply:

    Samuli, there are shy Chinese girls and then those who aren’t so shy. School girls study hard and might not want a boyfriend because it would hurt their studies. These girls can also sometimes be naive and fall for a guy that isn’t good for them. The girls you meet in a bar aren’t that shy. They seem to be totally different than those girls you meet on the campus. It’s not hard for a Western guy to get a girl here.

    I only hope that also those single men who come here would treat Chinese girls well. Don’t meet the parents if you don’t want to marry her.

    But I’m sure Samuli, that you are a great guy and I don’t have to worry about these things with you! :)

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  • NN

    That’s why I didn’t like going out with any Western Man until I get to know them well.But the funny thing is, they lost interest on me before I really get to know them.

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    Sara Reply:

    NN, it’s better to be safe than sorry. If someone really falls in love with you, he will wait for you.

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  • Mark

    If it’s true that more attached men are cheating than women, then it means that single women are more likely to go with already-attached men. That means women are more likely to break up existing relationships.

    You might as well write about what’s wrong with Chinese women. Why are they throwing themselves at western guys when many of them (the girl) already have boyfriends/husbands. I also know of some Chinese girls who know that their western boyfriends already have girlfriends. But they don’t care, because they care more about having the boyfriend.

    The notion that women are standing around waiting for their prince-charming to sweep them off their feet, is largely out-dated in the west. This notion leads people to imagine a sweet innocent girl putting all her trust in the guy. The girl is then seen as in need of protection and the guy with suspicion. But most of these girls are not sweet and innocent at all (as one of the other commenters mentioned). They know exactly what they want and go for it. I really don’t think they need to take care any more than the guys do. I know several guys who have been left heart-broken by Chinese girls.

    In the west, when people get into relationships it’s usually on equal terms. If the girl is someone who needs her boyfriend to tell her that she is special and the only one, then that’s a sign that something is very wrong IMHO. Why not be with someone because you love them, not because they love you? Whether they love you or not is their issue not yours.

    I’m also generally uncomfortable with the generalisations here. Western men is a far too broad term. From my experience (and from talking to people), French men are far more likely to have multiple simultaneous relationships in China, than other western groups. Chinese girls know this, but they really don’t care.

    Of course, saying “French men” is also a generalisation but at least it’s not so general (and I’m not French!) :)

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    Sara Reply:

    Single women doesn’t break relationships. It’s the already-attached men who do. We women also like to blame the “other woman” of breaking our relationship, but in reality we should remember that she wasn’t cheating (if she’s single) but our boyfriend/husband was!

    I could write about many things, but I prefer to write about things I know. I have met those Western men who cheat, but I haven’t met Chinese girls who cheat. That’s the reason for me to write this blog post from this ankle.

    On what do you base your comment that “French men are far more likely to have multiple simultaneous relationships in China”?

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    Mark Reply:

    “We women” – the women are of one mind! In this context, I have far more in common with women who do not cheat on their partners than men who do.

    Unfortunately, people discriminate on gender and instead of seeing me as a “non-cheater”, they see me as a “man” and so assume I’m up to no good (like one of your earlier commenters wrote). It’s rather annoying. Sure, as a western man, I get more attention from Chinese girls (though not nearly as much as is being suggested here) but those girls are exactly the type that I’m not attracted to, so it doesn’t help at all. In fact, it’s worse than that, because I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wants to be with me because I’m a westerner.

    Of course, I agree that it’s not the fault of the single person when the other is cheating on their partner. But do you think it’s OK behaviour? If a friend of yours was trying their hardest to get with a married man, would you think it was OK? If your answer is yes, what if that married man was your husband? I don’t know, maybe you would appreciate your husband being tested!

    Like I said, in my comment, “in my experience, French men are…” I’m surprised you haven’t heard from any of your friends about this. My experience is based on French guys I have met in China and stories told by Chinese girls I’ve met. French guys also have a really high reputation as lovers, in China. The same sort of stereotyping that makes everyone here believe that London is very foggy! Beijing anyone?

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    Sara Reply:

    I think that it’s not ok. It’s also different if the other woman is my friend as in that case she too would have cheated on me. But if the other woman is a stranger to me, then there’s no use cursing her as it was my boyfriend/husband who made the decision.

    I believe that many Chinese girls would like to be your girlfriend just because you’re a Westerner. In my experience this is also a problem when making friends. I would have tons of Chinese friends if I would count everyone who have wanted to be my friend. Unfortunately most of them just want a foreign friend, not necessarily to be my friend. For some any foreigner will do.

    Really, I haven’t heard this stereotype of French men before!

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  • western wife

    We’ve lived in China for 1 year now. And every time my husband goes to some bar without me (happened 3 or 4 times during this past year) chinese girls are all over him. Once one girl had been really arrogant. She was showing her interest and my husband told her he is married. Girl continues and husband says He is Happily married! No affect. Then my husband says to her that he is Not interested and his 2 kids are also waiting him at home. Then the girl lightens up and asks if they are boys or girls. Husband tells 1 boy and 1 girl and the girl says Oh, I really like you, You have so good semen!

    That’s the life in china..

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    Sara Reply:

    What a crazy Chinese woman! This story also tells me something very good. Your husband is a honest and loyal man because he doesn’t care if Chinese girls line up for him, he can only think of his wife and kids at home :)

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  • This topic of conversation has come up before and one of the reasons to be wary of returning to China – and why I won’t go without my family.

    As a funny aside, I remember hearing somewhere of one married Western guy who, trying to get rid of some of those women, told them he was gay. Sadly, it didn’t work every time… The sense of desperation is terrible.

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    Sara Reply:

    Why those Chinese girls like Western men so much? Do they want to get abroad? Or do they think that Western men have money and can offer them a certain lifestyle? Or that dating and marrying a foreign man gives them face?

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    Jessica Reply:

    It’s usually a mix of all three.

    From my observation, a lot of those girls don’t really fit into general Chinese society or culture.

    So they often date Western men thinking they will be more accepted.

    Not all the girls of course, but the big majority seem to be like that.

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    JS Reply:

    I can answer that. It’s an engine in our genetic code to search for something, that is not like in the neighborhood. Of course when the world was smaller, we had fewer options. Now – for example – finns have had so called “spear-travel tours” mainly to Spain for about 40 years by now. I don’t know you Sara, if you have lived all your life in China, but you may be interested in “Kalevi Keihänen” info. look for wiki or baidu. I guess that’s the search engine there in China.

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  • MB

    Cheating doesn’t only stem to Western Men, actually any one is capable of cheating it depends on the circumstances,situations, emotions, feelings, finances. This is something that has been going on for centuries but I must say I have heard off or know more people who have cheated whilst in China then I have in my own country.

    Last year I went to dinner with my Chinese friend, his wife, his brothers and their wives and a a very good friend of his. This friend after 15 minutes left the dinner only to come back 20 minutes with a woman, I presumed she was his wife and when I asked my friend about her he smiled and said she was in fact his mistress I was stunned not becasue he had a mistress ( I already knew this) but for the fact that he brought his mistress and not his wife to dinner.

    As fas as I know this would never happen in the West where a man would bring his mistress and not his wife to a dinner his friends were hosting.

    When I looked around the table it seems the men and the women were polite and friendly (but I’m sure they had their own oppinion on this matter. His actions I saw as being disrespectful towards his wife and a lack of dignity from him and his “girlfriend”.

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    Sara Reply:

    You are right, anyone can cheat, but while living in China I’ve just paid a lot of attention on Western men cheating, because I have met those men.

    I would like to know more what Chinese people think about that story. Bringing a mistress to a dinner with friends? So he isn’t worried that his wife will know or perhaps she knows already but there’s nothing she can do?

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    Mark Reply:

    Or perhaps she doesn’t care. Or maybe she’s having an affair herself. In which case, he wouldn’t be cheating at all – it would all be by agreement.

    Maybe it’s common in China because many marriages are arranged by parents, rather than through love.

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    MB Reply:

    What I have been told is that his wife found a picture of the girlfriend on his mobile phone approached him and told him “How ugly she is and that he could have at least picked a better looking girl”. He no longer see’s the girlfriend but that hasn’t stopped him from playing around with other girls.

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    Sara Reply:

    If it’s an agreement that both can do what they want, then there’s no problem. That’s a good point, that in arranged marriages the situation can be different if their relationship is not based on affection or love.

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  • yien

    I’ll have a go at the questions asked.

    Why don’t these men just man up and break up with their girlfriend or wife if they want someone else?

    No relationship is perfect. And infidelity rarely starts with a clear distinct crossing of lines. Almost always, there are things missing in any relationship. What ends up as cheating often begins as companionship, or fun, filling in some of the things that may be missing “at home”.

    When intimacy follows, it is often with a lot of grey lines crossed along the way.

    A real man will realise this and will split up, but often only when he can longer accept himself, in which case either relationship option is often doomed to fail.

    What really constitutes cheating in someone’s heart is very different to two people.

    Why they only think of themselves?

    This is the core issue. Most men really don’t know why they are often built this way, and have a hard time facing this question.

    Why they don’t feel responsible for their family that will get hurt?

    This is a presumption. Men who cheat, often, become the most guilt ridden creatures on this earth – particularly later in life.

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    Sara Reply:

    I agree with you that no relationship is perfect and usually there are some problems in a relationship if someone ends up cheating. But still there are plenty of people who know how to speak first, not cheat first. It’s a choise to cheat, it doesn’t just happen.

    I actually just watched a movie about cheating and could recommend it. The name is Last Night and you find more info here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1294688/

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    C Reply:

    it pays good karma to be honest with the partner and break up with them if they’re going to settle somewhere far away for work commitments

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  • Sim

    Bitch and bitch seekers are everywhere. your body secretes hormone which makes you have desire. abstinence is hard since it is something people do to fight against a chemical reaction . In reality , there is no true love existing in the world , the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” are existing as an excuse to have sex legally and reasonably.

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    Sara Reply:

    I have to disagree with you Sim as I would really want to believe there’s some true love in the world.

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    sim Reply:

    i am sure there must be true love in the planet, but it is beyond matrimonial relationship. love in terms of relationship end up with two outlets, 1. love tapers , since the curiosity and interest in ur partner wear off as time goes away, any sexual tension will spark ur desire in ur primitive and instinctive soul, at that time , ur now-partner will absolutly has no place in your mind. 2. love becomes a form that illustrates and justfies u and ur partner being together . we call this marriage. keeping matrimonial relationsip doesnot equate to ur still loving ur partner. and even though the love still exsit, then it has transformed itself into another form.

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  • C

    Not all men will be monogamous… let’s face it… if you find one who is… then you’re really lucky… some people fall in love and then out of love when they find someone who warms their heart more unexpectedly… Men in most cases wants only sex and friendship but not relationship responsibilities..

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  • C

    it was also common practice in the earlier centuries that a man can have a concubine or more concubines living with the first wife in the house hold… what’s stopping for men to play with more than one female around now

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    MB Reply:

    There is nothing to stop a man/woman from playing around except his/her own belief, his/her morals and what he/she thinks of the others they are playing around with, if there is no respect in himself/herself or they don’t respect others then he/she can do what ever they please with little thought of consequence.

    I think is some respects some men would like to go back to the days of having a concubine?

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  • T

    I think the issue described here go beyond the problem of cheating men. The social, or psychological, mechanism underlying the behaviour observed is one of racial superiority. The Western men (specifically white men) that go to China do so with the belief that they offer the local women superior alternatives of masculinity, and their belief is only reinforced by the women that throw themselves at them. This kind of relationship is unhealthy because there is a distinct imbalance of power between the man and the woman.

    And the issue is not restricted to relationships between Western men and Chinese women. Across East Asia more broadly, people are still gripped by a kind of neocolonialist mentality wherein Westerner visitors (both men and women) feel they are superior and the locals acknowledge their own inferiority, and I think this mentality will persist for as long as the West dominates the geopolitical landscape.

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    Sara Reply:

    There is some truth in your comment T! Especially in a culture shock it seems common that a Westerner feels that everything is done wrong in China and that everything is better back home. Luckily later on some realise that it’s different, not necessarily wrong. But I know that critisicing China and Chinese gets stuck to some foreigners even they live in China for a longer time.

    Then there are those few/some Western men that think that a White girl is dating downwards when she’s dating a Chinese man. I’ve heard about this in other websites, but also on my own blog. For some reason they don’t consider Chinese guys to be man enough or good enough. I’m sure that the hidden idea is that they feel superior to Chinese/Asian men.

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    Jessica Reply:

    I think it’s both a mix of feeling superior and also fear.

    They see how fast China is growing and are starting to get intimidated by how they are being surpassed.

    Also, one very interesting bit of news:

    ===
    One feature of the Russian-Chinese relationship seemed especially telling: Cross-border marriages are overwhelmingly between Chinese men and Russian women. Much of this has to do with demographics—Russia has a surplus of women, while China has too many men. But as one Russian woman told me, “Chinese men are kinder and more attentive to their wives. And they usually have more money.”
    ===

    From: http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/dispatches/features/2009/where_russia_meets_china/why_are_siberian_russians_drawn_to_china.html

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  • Thanks! You have really interesting blog, so I’m going to stay in touch with you;)

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    Sara Reply:

    Thank you for stopping by orange_rain! I’ll also keep reading your blog :)

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  • xiaozhoucoldsea

    My English phrase is extremely meagre so allow me to quote what British female writers said or thought:
    “I had a theoretical reverence and homage for beauty, elegance, gallantry,fascination; but had I met those qualities incarnate in masculine shape, I should have known instinctively that they neither had nor could have sympathy with anything in me, and should have shunned them as one would fire, lightning, or anything else that is bright but antipathetic.”It’s by Charlotte Bronte in Jane Eyre which thoroughly renders what virtue of female love means.

    “a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction” – Virginia Woolf in A room of one’s own.Doubtless that what Mrs Woolf said is true especially for the ideologically independent female.So please don’t count on Chinese women morally uneducated who mostly live below poverty level and even if leading a decent life,largely depend on their relatives to act under the discipline of feminist.A room of one’s own is just an untouchable dream for lots of Chinese even for the male like me.Maybe the platonic love is the only way to seek for me to supplement material deficiencies.

    Curious about how u could get access to IMDB(it’s blocked by GFW in China),via vpn or proxy or are u abroad now?

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    You brought up an interesting fact, thank you! When someone is from a poor family or otherwise have to worry about finances, it’s understandable to try to change their lives by marrying a wealthy man. This is something that I’m afraid I can’t fully understand because of lack of experience. I could talk a lot about love, but like I recently learned 爱情不能当面包 love cannot serve as bread (source).

    I think that this also connects to the taking care of parents and family. If a women doesn’t see any other way to improve her family’s situation, she might choose to marry a rich man if possible. So is choosing love luxury only available for someone not poor?

    I didn’t even know that IMDB is blocked too. I use a software called Free gate to surf the net and can access everything.

    [Reply]

  • xiaozhoucoldsea

    Oh,Missy!Then u must be careful considering that bypassing GFW by whatever way u use is illegal and GFW is even not admitted in existence by chinese authority.
    But actually I have some ways and tools to circumvent the censorship and to watch youtube fluently and if u have an interest email me.
    What a pity that someone said 爱情不能当面包.I am sorry for such coldness that human emotion could be degenerated to vapid materials and amazed, disgusted at such heartless vanity. I wondered why so much wealth should be given to those who made so bad a use of it,and denied to some who would make it a benefit to both themselves and others.我的想法可能有点幼稚,敬请鉴谅-_-.

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    I’m not worried about going around GFW. They know that people do it and seem to make it harder each day for people to access certain sites. But luckily Fgate have worked well. I actually heard about this software from my Chinese friend.

    [Reply]

  • Leo

    I think white guys think they are the cream of the crop when it comes to men, and Asian women think they are superior when it comes down to women.

    This arrogance leads to the formation of these kind of couples.

    [Reply]

    Chopstik Reply:

    I would be very careful of these types of generalizations. While there is obviously some truth to them, they are dangerous to make and can cause problems for couples who do not fit the stereotype you describe.

    [Reply]

  • sim

    i really want to know why you and other finnish girls ( living in china or maybe living abroad ) take to chinese guys in particular ,this puzzles me as this seems barely to apply to other girls from countries other than finland. ( orange-rain even has stepped into marital aile with a chinese guy )

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    It’s not a Finnish thing to like Chinese men. I know only three or four Finnish woman, besides me, that date or married a Chinese man. There are far more examples about women from USA that date and marry Chinese men.

    [Reply]

  • MB

    Hi Sim

    I am an Australian girl living and working in Shanghai and I have been involved with a Chinese man for over a year now. Initially when I came to China I had no “romantic interest” in Chinese men but after a while I become aware of them and I found myself being attracted to them (I can’t say this happens to all Western women but it does happen). For me it’s not a matter of whether he is Asian or Westen but what type of person he is e.g. How does he treat others,how does he treat himself;is there respect, is there trust and honesty. The Chinese man I like has these qualities (which I admire); he also has a great sense of humor.

    [Reply]

    sim Reply:

    by the way, u had better change ur profile name , in chinese MB is abusive expression short for Ma bi ( pin yin) . i know it as i am chinese

    [Reply]

    MB Reply:

    Realy…these are my first and surname initials but thank you will change

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    Exactly! I do think that there are plenty of handsome men in China, but who I date is not based on the nationality. Like you said, the most important thing is what kind of person he is, not where he is from.

    [Reply]

  • Tuomas

    Answering for the hole gender or cultural heritage is always quite difficult ;) Some people do have different views about morality and love. Regardless of their place of birth or gender IMHO.

    Personally I have one girlfriend (Chinese) and that is quite enough. :)

    Reading through your blog is quite interesting. Especially since I was visiting my girlfriends family in Guangzhou for a month and I am bound to go there again sooner or later.

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    Nice to hear from you Tuomas! I’m happy to know that your Chinese girlfriend is from Guangzhou and that one is all you need :) So do you like Guangzhou?

    [Reply]

    Tuomas Reply:

    Heh. Yes Guangzhou very is nice city and easy enough to navigate. Maybe only problem was that hoping to see some some more historical sites in China but there was quite few in Guangzhou. It was the during the Chinese new year so the travel to near by areas was bit difficult or at least took some more planning.

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    Guangzhou isn’t like Beijing with huge historical sites, but there’s still something to see in here too. My favourite place is the Xiaozhou village that I will introduce better soon here in my blog!

    [Reply]

  • apart from the comments about how men all over the world cheat, I thought I’d point out the particular vantage point of a man (or woman!) coming to China from far away.
    Traveling so far away from home often gives people the feeling of being radically free, divorced from the obligations and responsibilities they had back home…which results in all kind of bad behaviour that’s not really about how they view the Chinese, but about their new view of themselves.

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    Very good point dalianeveningnews! Moving to a new country, and maybe especially if it’s only for a short term, is kind of a new beginning. A chance to be someone else and perhaps not to think about the responsibilities back home. I know people that have/ or had a carefree life in China and it must be hard for them to go back home and continue the old life. This seem to be the case for some exchange students.

    [Reply]

  • TS

    I’ve found that in normal situations most Chinese girls are quite shy (probably different in bars but I’m not interested in bars or in bar girls). Some girls come forward and want to help me when someone I’m talking with are not very fluent in english, but they are still very shy and usually don’t dare to say anything after they’ve helped me. Or “helped” me in some cases, I didn’t really need that much help to know that 9 元 means 9 yuan when I’m standing with a 10 元 note in my hand…

    The only exception I remember was a girl in the Guangzhou Metro who was very forward and interested…

    BTW, it’s funny that you write negatively about Chinese girls beeing interested in “average white guys” when you yourself are interested in “avergage Chinese guys”.

    /TS (Scandinavian guy sometimes travelling in Guangdong)

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    I only hope that the “average white guys” isn’t the same thing as “cheating white guys”.

    I don’t have any problems for Chinese girl dating white guys, average or amazing, but I don’t like cheating. In which part exactly did you feel like that I wrote negatively about them?

    [Reply]

  • TS

    You write that Chinese girls want a man only because he is western, but in fact you wanted your boyfriend because he is Chinese/Asian too. Of course you justify it after the fact with that he is kind and so on, but you didn’t know this from the start, especially if you could barely communicate.

    I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing, you do have to meet somehow.

    So a Chinese girl could do the same to find out if the western guy is any good or an asshole…

    I did meet a nice Chinese girl recently, did we find each other more interesting because of the differences? Maybe, but in the long run that won’t matter (And no, I didn’t cheat on anyone).

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    You are right that in the beginning looks and appearance is what we see and usually based on that we decided if we want to get to know that person or not. Also some people are attracted to Chinese, some to people from some other country.

    What I have failed to understand is that why some of the Chinese girls I met continue dating these Western men when they have proofed to be not the perfect husband material. Would those girls date a Chinese guy with same kind of behaviour? Or maybe these girls just have way different standards or expectations that I do and that’s the reason it seems hard to understand.

    In the end I’m sure that most of us want to be loved because of who we are, not because our other half is a fan of our country or culture. The same with making friends too.

    [Reply]

    TS Reply:

    Maybe the girls continue dating because it gives them face, they are more interested in money, getting a visa/green card or just like sex. I guess there’s lots of reasons, but I wouldn’t know as my Chinese girl cares just about me and not about western culture, money or green cards etc (and I feel the same way about her too).

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    Sounds like you two have great relationship!

    [Reply]

  • Mofeed

    You sound like a fair person here. I am a Muslim, and in Islam, infidelity is a no no. In Islam, a man shaking hands with any female that is not your mom, sister or wife is not okay by principal and teaching. The reason behind this is to close the door on those with sick minds or sort of speak thinking of sex without a marriage first. It is like this: if I can not shake hands, and I am a Muslim, then I can never even think of cheating on my wife. Is that heaven for women or not? It wipes out any heartache that a man can cause a woman.

    Just thought I share this with you.
    Cheers from Guangzhou

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    Thank you Mofeed for telling me about this. It seems that there are a lot of different kind of Muslims, so follow the guidelines more carefully and some not. I have met young Muslim men in China that do the same thing as the Italian guy in my example story.

    [Reply]

    TS Reply:

    There is no sexual component to shaking hands, neither in China nor in the West. So I don’t se how it applies.

    To decide if Islam is heaven for women you need to look no further than Saudi Arabia…

    [Reply]

    Truth Reply:

    Saudi Arabia is not an Islamic country. Think more.

    [Reply]

  • Fred

    I live in New York
    My wife is from Hong Kong
    She is a wonderful woman.
    Although HK is a unique city
    within China, because many women grow
    Up learning English.
    I feel that some western men, do try to play
    Chineses woman.
    I enjoyed your article
    I think Most Chinese women are caring and
    Just hoping for true love

    [Reply]

  • James

    As a Brit who lived in China (I’ll be going back in a few months I think) a big part of the problem is the environment.

    Firstly there are the other Westerners (mostly men) who are there, they’re likely to be a bad influence (drinking, going after girls etc.) so this really doesn’t help.

    Secondly is just being in China, it plays games with your mind. Especially if you stay there a long time. At least it did with me (or I may just be going crazy).

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    Thank you for sharing your thought James! I do agree that China can in a way get to you and it can feel like it’s playing games with your mind. Before I came to China I was little bit worried about what I do if I don’t get used to the life here. Coming to China was a big dream for me and it would have been dissappointing if I would have ended up hating it. Luckily I seem to be doing just fine, even though sometimes I want to take a break and stay at home where no one pays attention to me (no hello hello shouting).

    Are you planning to work in China James?

    [Reply]

  • garylong

    I cant say this man is good or bad, but I can say in the 8 years I have been in china I have met a lot of Chinese girls do this all the time, in the end the Italian young man coming to China, as an exchange student to study Chinese would know many people here in china would have told him (when in china do as the Chinese do) as he is here is just adapting to the way of life in china, and for the fact that his Italian ex-girlfriend to take his passport is braking the law and she is not better then the man she is trying to piss off. she should be locked up for taking it as it wall say in every pass port it remands the ownership of the country its from not her right to do that if she want to get back at him she could clean the WC with his tooth brush. and it say the all men do this you need to look at china i have seen and been told many girls now will have more than one lover at one time to find the ebst before they marry.

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    I think it was rather clever to take the passport.

    [Reply]

    Guest Reply:

    This post is years old, and many people have commented here about the passport issue e.g it is a crime etc. Why is it a crime? The real thing has never been told so I will write it here: Passport does not belong to the person who holds it. He/she is not the owner of the passport.
    The government is the owner of the passport. On the passport of pretty much every country it is written that this document belongs to the government and is being given to the “bearer” for use. Some passports even hold a request by the president (as the supreme representative of the country) that the “bearer” be allowed to visit foreign country.
    In short, the passport she stole didn’t belong to her boyfriend. It belonged to the government of Italy. There are multiple crimes at one time here:
    1. Stealing a government property.
    2. Taking a passport abroad without bearer (illegal in nearly all countries because then it can be used for human trafficking).
    3. Alienating (converting the status of legal resident into illegal alien) foreign resident by stealing the passport (a potential crime in the eyes of host country too, since by stealing the passport, the thief creates trouble for them).

    Why everybody is rejoicing over this is unfathomable – looks like everybody commenting has never faced this issue. It didn’t even cause any real harm to the boyfriend. If you lose your passport, the only stress is till the time you file a police complaint (without you can be considered illegal alien). Most probably he didn’t become aware for a few days, but became aware when e.g needed to go the the bank – so he was practically unperturbed.
    It is not difficult to deal with loss of passport. Just go to the police station and file a missing document complaint. They may require you to publish a lost & found ad in the newspaper. The ad has a pretty standard format all over the world: “This and this document bore by the holder has been lost in this and this place. Anybody who possible found it should return to____ (address of police station, embassy, street address of bearer etc.) within 7/10/15 days”.
    Then they will give a letter to the effect that “item was lost and despite much search has not been recovered so it will be deemed irrecoverable loss – in future if document with such and such serial number is found, it should be considered cancelled. We hereby request concerned authority to issue duplicate document”, file with the embassy, pay fees, and get your passport within a few days.

    Italians are already famous for petty theft (generalization). Did the world need another story just to cement that stereotype?

    [Reply]

  • holly shit!! she flew back with his passport? what an italian cool girl! she surely sent him to hell..but he wasnot cheating and u know it most chinese girls are after white guys and its thats fact and they dont respect the white girl friend even if they know shes the white boys gf.

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    Well, he was cheating.

    [Reply]

  • Jesse

    I think the reason for this treatment is simply because many chinese women find western men attractive while most western women find chinese men unattractive at least physically.

    Anyone who finds this hard to believe either go to S.F or L.A. Same story in Hong Kong.

    This is because the neoteny of asian people looks better on women than men and is why these western guys see asian women as more feminine and delicate in physical features.

    People will take the path of least resistance.

    [Reply]

  • tu

    i’m a thai woman of Siam origin. I think i’m one of the best qualified to say to you. Why? My Siam (Thailand) was not colonized. We won WW2 and was never conquerred by Allied of any whites. We never feel inferior to any whites naturally, like others. i am impressed by the beauty and handsomeness of whitemen and white girls.

    [Reply]

  • tu

    More information. Between chinese men and Thai men, I admire Thai men’s handsomeness. But because in the past, women were more than men in number, and Thai women were angry with Thai men who had more chance to have minor wives, so Thai women dreamt of being the first wives of a man and married chinese immigrants against their will.

    [Reply]

  • tu

    Last information, without Thai men, i choose to marry whitemen, not any han chinese men nor korean men nor japanese men whose physical appearance is very ugly (especially their eyes)., and i’m a Thai woman from an uncolonized country which never feel inferior to any white (this is important psycho).

    [Reply]

  • francesco

    Hello,
    i am an italian boy, and i had the opposite experience. I met a chinese girl in shanghai, and she became my girlfriend. after few weeks i had to go back to Italy, so we had to keep contacts by chatting and emails. When i asked her to come to live with me in Italy, she disappeared and she also deleted me from her friends list in her chat-room. So i couldn’t contact her anymore.She just told me that her parents didn’t like me and she had a new chinese boyfriend. I decided to go in china again to find her, even if i didn’t know exactly where she was, but for a miracle i could contact her and so i found her in Urumqi, xinjiang region. We met andshe promised me again to come to live with me in italy, but after just a day, she disappeared again.

    She cheated me twice…

    [Reply]

    Sara Reply:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your experience Francesco. I can’t even imagine your feeling after you found here and she disappeared again.

    [Reply]

  • Al_Sharp

    You ought to be a bit more charitable to these western guys – just
    like you, they’re simply integrating into the Chinese way of doing
    things! Chinese men cheat on an absolutely shocking scale, and think
    very little of it beyond not getting caught.

    The Western guys you mention certainly have to bear some guilt for
    causing a few naive (or not so naive – I wonder how many of them
    *really* don’t know what they’re letting themselves in for) Chinese
    girls heartbreak, that might last for a week or two. But the extent to
    which so many Chinese guys wreck women’s lives by rushing into
    affectionless marriages with them, and then proceeding to sexually
    harass co-workers/visit ‘KTVs’ and ‘saunas’ with colleagues and
    clients/take a 小三 or 二奶, dwarfs the damage that these lusty laowais
    cause. 

    It’s something I’ve encountered anecdotally more times than I
    care to mention. The time I caught a Chinese colleague furtively showing
    a couple of others steamy hotel room pics of some girl considerably
    younger looking than him on his laptop during a meeting, barely months
    after he’d gone around the office delivering wedding candy, was a
    particularly striking
    example!  

    If you get to know any Chinese girls who are considered attractive
    by local standards well enough for them to confide in you, I guarantee
    you, you’ll soon be hearing tale after tale about married guys
    who’ve hit on them. I used to work with a very light-skinned and
    round-eyed recent college graduate who was working in sales, and the
    frequency with which married clients would ask to meet up with her to
    ‘give her career advice’ (the married, white-collar Chinese male
    equivalent of the sleazy laowai ‘you teach me Chinese I teach
    you English’ ploy!) was just staggering.

    Chinese women, in my opinion, need to be a hell of a lot more wary of Chinese men
    than of foreigners. After all, it’s not foreign guys I see frequenting
    the ‘hair salon’ brothels you find on practically every street here…

    [Reply]

    Somethingwithoutsomething Reply:

     all i wanted to Say. Thank you very much!

    [Reply]

    jerry Reply:

    motherfuckers like you assholes who play women all the time would always give poeple excuse like “oh, women are after money, and men are after sex, that’s a fair trade”.. however, that’s a lousy excuse, because a man can have sex with only one woman , and not to change girlfriends (sexual partners) all the time. YOU KNOW WHY you should stop playing girls? because you Aholes not only break the hearts of the innocent girls, but also spread STD and AIDS all over the society….China has much lower AIDS rate than western countries, you know why? because our dicks are under controlled by our brains…   

    [Reply]

    BarbarkaG Reply:

    Relax, Jerry. Before you’ll start to offend others please try to be more critical about your compatriots (although I know that it’s difficult cause I can tolerate other Poles compaining about Poland and polish people and I do it myself, but if foreigners start to do the same – it makes me really mad sometimes).
    First – not all girls are so innocent. It’s obvious.
    Second – that’s true that some foreign guys act like idiots when they are in China and surely many of them would never change girls so often at home, or they would not be even able to do it. I’ve met many guys (and sometimes girls too!) who never were regarded as attractive in their home country but in China everyone was telling them “You are so handsome, beautiful, your eyes are so big and beautiful” and suddenly they are surrounded by hundreds of girls/boys who want to date them. Possibly those chinese girls would not date an ordinary chinese guy and first they’d ask if he has a house and a car, but they’d go for a foreigner just because he’s a foreigner. I hate to say it but it’s true. I know that not all chinese girls are like this just like not all foreigners dating chinese girls are bad guys. There are some genuine releatinships too.
    Third – what Al_Sharp wrote sounds terrible to chinese ears but unfortunatelly I have to agree that I find chinese guys much more dissolute than europeans. I’ve seen it many times and the chinese I know (although I’d not call them “friends”) were not very ashamed that I know that they are cheating their wifes and girlfriends cause this is how it works here.
    Sorry, Jerry, but in western countries there’s no tradition to keep a mistress, just like it is in asian countries. Sure that foreign guys in China act like jerks sometimes. But there’s no excuse for them, while for many Chinese guys it’s a norm.
    I just have an advice to chinese girls out there, those who really count for a serious relationship with a foreigner: men are men, there are good and bad guys, no matter if they are chinese or westerners, so don’t go for a guy just because he’s tall and has blue eyes, while with a chinese guy you’d ask ask if he has a house and a car first.

    [Reply]

    jerry Reply:

    ok,I agree with you…

    [Reply]

  • Aron Sunny

    right, should not let western to us so easy! We chinese girls should wake up. Celine

    [Reply]

  • Unfortunately, this happens in most every race, gender, and culture. You just need to take a lot of time to get to know somebody. Guard your heart. 

    [Reply]

  • jerry

    fucking hate those while guys who are taking advantages of being the only few white guys in GZ….will beat them up if I see those guys  next time…

    [Reply]

    Aron Sunny Reply:

    You should go beat my ex, a french guy, he is such a playboy, two money change one gf

    [Reply]

    Aron Sunny Reply:

    two month

    [Reply]

    Aron Sunny Reply:

    He is a cheater! If you want to beat those guys, go to Bar called 88, or go to windows two, lot of bad white boy their.

    [Reply]

    jerry Reply:

    thank you for your information.. don’t worry,  I will do that if i see them cheating on girls on streets, no remorse…..

    [Reply]

    jerry Reply:

    also, send me an email if you need someone to beat up you ex (dongjieyu.1@hotmail.com)…I am a local in GZ…  

    [Reply]

    Somethingwithoutsomething Reply:

     and i assume that’s for free!

    [Reply]

    Sara Jaaksola Reply:

    Don’t go to their level, just be a bigger person. (Even though there have been times I had wanted to punch some of them.)

    [Reply]

    jerry Reply:

    I know, I am just saying.. those guys who play women all the time would always give you excuse like “oh, ,women are after money, and men are after sex, that’s a fair trade”.. however, that’s a lousy excuse, because a man can have sex with only one woman , and not to change girlfriends (sexual partners) all the time.

    [Reply]

    J P Reply:

    Yes, surely a much better approach to life is to spread violence and hate instead!

    [Reply]

  • Somethingwithoutsomething

    this is the mind of a traveler. of course see chinese migrant workers tend to go out late and be more free while locals don’t.  it’s human nature wake up don’t make it racial or regional. women go for money and men go for sex (speaking of majority).

    [Reply]

    jerry Reply:

    I am trying to be racist or anything, it doesn’t matter if the guys are white or other races, as long as they play women all the time, they are hateful. you can say that some of the women are after money, but some of the women out there are actually looking for love. Moreover, do you really think that the white guys are richer than the Chinese locals? lol.. do some research!! some of Chinese are crazy rich nowadays,while most of the white guys are poor as hell as they don’t save at all.

    [Reply]

    KatieB Reply:

    Good point jerry. Most asian girls think that western guys are cool and have a lot of money. Helloooo….don’t be a fool . Read news, read books and get to know many people, it will open your eyes.

    [Reply]

  • JOY

    I’m not going to stick up for the Western guys but they’re guys.  They have allllllll these girls throwing themselves at them, they might even feel like celebrities.  I’ve lived in Xi’an for 16 months and it’s exactly the same way.  I’ve asked my guy friends WHY?  (This leaves me no one to date!) The simple answer is they like the attention.  The girls aren’t bad looking, the sex is easy to get, and it’s even nice not to be able to have deep conversations.  For some the excitement wears off sooner than later.  For others they could do this for years and years.  Most could never get girls this easily back in their own countries. 

    [Reply]

    JOY Reply:

    Didn’t mean to post that quite so soon.  This is unfortunately something that happens and a lot of girls get hurt in the process.  It’s made me see western guys differently and have been disappointed in many of them.  I’ve also seen Chinese girls a bit differently because they don’t stand up for themselves.  They know when they’re being cheated on or when the guy isn’t actually into them and they just let it happen.  One foreign guy I know responded with ‘Because they won’t break up with me’ when asked why he prefers Chinese girls.   
    I think this was started a year ago but I noticed it tonight.  It’s funny, I just wrote about why foreign girls don’t date Chinese guys on my blog.  That is a whole other discussion! 

    [Reply]

    Sara Jaaksola Reply:

    Western guys date Chinese girls so we have to go for Chinese men ;)

    Seems like the situation is the same in many cities over China that have lots of foreigners. Luckily I don’t live in a dorm anymore so I don’t have to see those guys having different girls every night.

    [Reply]

    C Reply:

    yeah sex may be easy to get.. but when they get STDS… who’s fault is it? theirs… they got what they ask for with out usin their brains..but their dicks instead

    [Reply]

  • Lala

    Hi thanks for sharing.
    As a Chinese woman who lived in western countries for few years, I totally understand this situation. Although Chinese food is nice, but we want to change sometimes, do not worry, our heart is not broken that easily:) Yet, it is also part of grow-up. 
    if we have to blame someone, i would say chinese men, because they donot know how to offer oral sex and did not hear ‘squirt’ at all, terrible. The solution to this is teach those stupid chinese men, make them experience in bed!!! while they see western men perform better than them and take all girls away, they will and have to learn! it can take a while though.
    Also, size is really matters for me! Of course while our economy is growing, i believe the size of chinese men will grow too. Just it took even longer : (
    Anyway, do not break that easily, there so many western men, donot hang on one! 

    [Reply]

  • Yew

    Hi Sara. I want you to know that my buddies and I enjoyed this story of “What’s Wrong With Western Men In China?” very much. Have you any more stories like this one to share with us? Thanks.

    [Reply]

    Sara Jaaksola Reply:

    Thanks for letting me know Yew :) Lets see what I can come up with, I do have one interesting idea in mind!

    [Reply]

    Yew Reply:

    This is Yew again. Oh Sara, you are exicting me and my buddies already. I am waiting for the next story with heavy breathting. I cannot wait to die again from so much laughter. In fact, I may invite several of my male friends over to my house when the new story comes out so that we can have a party together when reading your next story. By the way, is it really true that an ordinary plain looking White Western man in China can command such attention from the pretty Chinese girls? My friends and I were doubting such a thing because in the U.S (where I and my friends are living) plain looking White men cannot get any attention even from the plain ordinary White girls. If what you say is true (that ordinary looking Western men have such great power of attracting attention from the pretty Chinese girls), then Western men can go wild in which case Western men can truly cause many to ask: “what is wrong with Western men in China”?

    [Reply]

  • In conclusion, china girl is mostly cheap.
    My quick summary…Bad and good chinese pussy, accepted by western men. Chinese men only accept good, nice, home based and no heavy outgoing type of western pussy. Therefore, Chinese men lose more pussies.

    [Reply]

  • Mrs.Bowden

    I’m a woman teaching in China with a husband who is cheating with a young Chinese woman. They tried to hide it from me for quite a while. It is very painful and we are now separated and living in different cities. He is 55 years old and she is 24. He has spent a lot of time and money on this young woman. I have come to hate them both.

    [Reply]

    Sara Jaaksola Reply:

    Oh my, I’m so sorry about this Mrs. Bowden. I just can’t understand how people can do this.

    [Reply]

  • LR

    In China and elsewhere, including Italy, wives who cheat on their husbands end up getting beaten up or killed, especially with foreigners. It happens here in the United States too. I myself have cheated with foreign guys as an American girl because I’m multilingual and I got slapped by my American fiance for it. And if you dare act like a chivalrous gentleman to a married woman or committed woman abroad, beware, the local husband, fiance, or boyfriend might kill you. Men hate getting hurt by women and when that happens they kill.

    [Reply]

    J P Reply:

    No, that’s only if you date psychopaths.

    [Reply]

    Chris Granzow XI Reply:

    Dude, you cheated on your fiance, not just a simple boyfriend. You deserved to get slapped imo.

    [Reply]

  • Chris

    Let me start by saying i don’t agree with guys cheating on girls. For us Western Men their is something so beautiful, mysterious and captivating about Chinese girls. You girls are so sweet and sexy you drive us crazy that is why you sometimes here the phrase ‘Yellow Fever’.

    I am Australian my work colleague recently said to me that I am racist because I only date Asian girls and he is right. What have you beautiful Chinese women done to us western guys I can’t even look at a western girl now. If my friend comments on the way a western girl look the best I can say is “Yeah she is ok for a white girl”. I don’t think I would ever date a white girl again. If my girlfriend ever broke up with me I would no doubt look for a Chinese girl. You girls are the best. Spare a thought for the poor western women now the boot is on the foot so to speak. They are being thrown away as more white guys look to be with a beautiful Chinese woman.

    [Reply]

    Tee Kei Reply:

    …..Ok buddy… have fun then.

    Guess you don’t like strong, independent, caring western women (who are equally beautiful if I might add) who stick up for themselves, significant others, and let their thoughts be heard. I suppose that I, as an Eastern man (Japanese/Chinese/Filipino pan-asian mix), will date them in your stead. I’m not as narrow minded as you to only date only caucasian women as you do with chinese girls (since I do date women of all races btw), but I guess me and my Eastern brethren will have to step up a bit in dating more white and western women in general since you guys seem to be so much more captivated in media stereotypes of chinese girls.

    Hope you have a good life then, that is if you could truly say that you had one with that fettered mind of yours.

    [Reply]

  • Tee Kei

    basically his defense: everybody else cheats why can’t I do it too? I want to add my share of problems to this society too! Western douchebags cheat and cause heart aches, but it’s ok it’ll just be awhile anyway. Oh yeah and all chinese guys are scumbags that’s why I came to this country. So let’s bash them instead while downplaying what western d-bags have been doing!!!

    ……who are you kidding?

    [Reply]

  • Ew203

    I lost my 5 and a half years old relationship because of that. I am a chinese too living in Hong Kong…as soon as my Mexican boyfriend decided to take his advance study in Beijing , i have the feelings that he will be gone. But he asked me to give him a chance to further practices his Mandarin since there were no better way to practice in HK, i let him go. We supposed to have an agreement that he will stay there for six months and on and off i would fly to see him once every month. I flied to him for 4 times in three months and eventually my father was in the hospital that i couldnt make my 4th and 5th trips. He came back on the sixth monthsfor my birthday and instead of having him back , we ended our relationship because of tons of chinese girls …. :(

    [Reply]

    Sara Jaaksola Reply:

    I’m so sorry to hear this! Hope you won’t meet any guys like this anymore.

    [Reply]

  • Alva

    Well in fact doing your passport in China is not that difficult, takes about 10 days or 2 weeks and can cost 200 something rmb…no worries!

    [Reply]

  • JS

    I can easily understand that italian or scandinavian (or mixed) looks attracts women of any parts of the world. We are just so good looking (no offense to …).
    We just are….

    [Reply]

  • Truth

    Some of you girls talk small amounts of shit here and there when you suggest you don’t like this about the men here, you never truly reject them.

    I’ve lived in Shanghai for a little over a year. I’m British but ethnically Indian, mid-late 20s. In England women throw themselves at me. I don’t genuinely care much about this, because I will only get involved with a woman if we agree that marriage is the outcome of getting to know one another intimately. Some women have been too fucked up by society to even have that as a standard condition in getting to know men anymore…but that’s another topic.

    I don’t care what your article says by the way, Indian guys are rarely approached by all but the most desperate Chinese girls. The locals worship white skin not brown. Such racism deserves it’s own topic, but the focus of my post is on the expat ladies.

    Anyway, I tick all the dating boxes, own hair, teeth, house, business, never dated a Chinese girl as my only fetish is for women in general not a specific race, tall, incredibly beautiful thank God, funny, I know how to talk to women to get them to like me if they don’t initially. However, I don’t bother.

    Because the girls here are actually turned on by the fact that the local girls throw themselves at the white guys. By Western you should just say “white” because 90%+ of all of these relationships are white guy-Chinese girl quite easily.

    I won’t blame the expat ladies much for not choosing me, I make myself unavailable to them as I want a wife not a girlfriend, and force them into the friend-zone if I don’t like what I see about their level of maturity. What I do blame is their willingness to still want the used-men who they criticise in their girl groups over brunch at the weekend.

    It’s gross to see some of the ladies do this, they should have some more self-respect and don’t whine if you do the same thing.

    [Reply]

  • Truthsayer

    The phenomenon is due to simple math. It depends on who’s the one doing the traveling and the gender of that person. White guys find themselves in demand in Asian countries when they go there, because there are far more Asian women in that country and the attention he gets can therefore feel overwhelming.

    You can see this theory at work in the US among Asian Americans.This is a common experience of Asian American girls. Because there are so many white guys in the US, and there, the Asian American girl is the one that’s the “rarer commodity”, the Asian American girl is the one receiving the attention from the white men.

    I hope white people don’t mistake the attention that white guys receive when they live in Asian countries as a sign of cultural superiority, because it is not. It’s all about numbers and it only works in certain directions. For example, white women who relocate to Asian countries do not find themselves fighting off attention from local men. Similarly, Asian men or Asian American men in the US do not find themselves fighting off white women.

    Besides the explanation about the features of Asians working on women more, there’s a cruder evolutionary reason regarding sexual performance behind this at work. Why do you think many white women are attracted to black men?

    [Reply]

  • Peter Hu China

    it is true that many Chinese girls are obsessed with western men,because they think western men are more rich and handsome than Chinese,it is rare to see a foreigner in China before 1978,so that this idea rooted in everyone’s mind,that is westerners are rich.Now everything has changed,China is rising as a new power

    [Reply]

    bejarano Reply:

    Nothing changed in Japan with rising economic power. White men were seen as a premium when Japan was in the top three economies of the world. Nothing will change in China regarding this either.

    [Reply]

  • lilly

    I am happy because of what *DR. UWA* has done in my
    family, I want to share my testimony which goes like this, I marriage to
    my husband about 3year without no issues, i was praying that some
    one should help me out of this problem, my marriage get broken because
    of no child issues, my mother inlaw came to visit us in town one day
    she called me, she told me i should pack out of she son house, she
    started calling me a witch, bare woman, I was carrying I did not no
    what to do, even my husband supported her for throwing out my
    belonging, I was carrying for help, one went I was browsing in the
    internet, I saw this great man which is called *DR.UWA* who i lay my
    problem to and he side his is going to help me form that problem, He
    side I should give he just only one day he is going to get back to me
    immediately he said after one day he called me I should go back to my
    husband house he cast out spell, I believe him because is spiritual
    doctor, to cut every short I put to birth, I am now happy with husband
    and my mother inlaw, to contact uwagreathappyhome@gmail.com

    [Reply]

  • brad

    well i’m a fairly good looking (incredibly english) boy with a ripped bod and i’m having literally no luck with chinese girls by being honest. so i might start lying like everyone else. The girls say “ooooh you’re so handsome and your hair is pioliang blah blah”. i then say “cool, want to hang out/come to my house? i’m not interested in a girlfriend, but i’d like to have fun”. then it proceeds to awkward conversation, and eventually ignorance. it’s really starting to piss me off, it’s happened at least 20 times now. is it any wonder people lie about this shit to get laid? i mean seriously… fuck my life.

    [Reply]

  • For shame….for shaaaammme…

    Have you ever thought that maybe the sleazy, drunken cliché might just be more visible than the majority who behave like normal people? And have you thought about how such a nasty image affects how western men are seen by Chinese people? Finding a girlfriend in China proved far MORE difficult than back home because of this nasty, malicious stereotype. Not to mention the dirty looks I sometimes get in bars from men, even when I’m not around a Chinese girl.

    There’s no doubt that a minority of men do come to China for casual sex, and there’s no doubt that there are no shortage of loose women willing to give it to them. But I hope you consider how harmful it is to perpetuate this myth, both to honest western men and the women who love them (who are often perceived as easy just for being with a white guy).

    As a westerner in China, it’s your responsibility to DISPEL the crass misconceptions and generalisations many Chinese hold against us, NOT spread them!

    [Reply]

  • Ja’Njah

    MY EX HUSBAND IS BACK

    Thanks God I found you Dr Love by helping getting my Ex-husband back because I dont believe i can remarried Him again after divorced him in 2011 but ever since the divorced am still deeply in love with my ex husband Christopher ,I really do love him very much with my heart . We have got together in 2008 and I divorced him in 2011 ever since then I have been trying to get him back while reading Prayer Books, The top relationship guide books Until Sunday that i surface on Google to seek Advice On how i can get my ex Husband back after divorced him 2yrs ago and i cant stop thinking of him and loved him then Google Recommend me to Contact Dr Love spell caster Email address Drlovespellcastersolution@yahoo.com drlovespellcastersolution@gmail.com Tel +2348038096203 , i did contact Dr Love on the same day which him Assure me that i would have my Ex husband back within 24hrs , i dont believe at first that Love spell work but it Come to Reality to me on the Next day when i saw my EX husband knocking my Door in the Morning and say he want to talk something serious with me Immediately he Kneel Down and give me ring that he want to marry me again

    Thanks Dr love for helping me get my Lover back and put smile on my face forever .

    Maria from Australia.

    [Reply]

  • Kaiser

    Asian or Caucasian, they all think I’m hot. I just prefer my beautiful Oriental lotus blossom. And she prefers her strong Marlboro man.

    [Reply]

  • Lara Smith

    yes After six years in marriage with my husband with 3 kids, he suddenly started going out with other women and coming home late, each time i confronted him it turns out to be a fight and he always threatened to divorce me at all time, my marriage was gradually coming to an end. i tried all i could to stop him from this unruly attitude but all proved abortive, until i saw a post in the forum about a spell caster who helps people cast spell on marriage and relationship problems, at first i doubted it but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this Spell caster Dr. Dangogo via email, he helped me cast a spell and within 4 hours my husband came back apologizing for all he has done and promised never to do such again and today we are happily together again. Contact this Great spell caster for your marriage or relationship issues via this email; dr.dangogospell@gmail.com

    [Reply]

  • jolly menx

    Hi, I am JOLLY MENX from Germany,I just want to say thanks to Dr.kizzekpe for taking time to help me cast the spell that brings back my ex lover{now husband},who suddenly lost interest in me after eight months of engagement,but today we are married with kids and we are more happier than never before,Thanks to Dr.kizzekpe for his help,he deeply enjoy helping people achieve their desires, find true love,getting their ex lovers back,stop abusive relationships,find success,attract happiness,find soul mates and more,contact him today. and let him show you the wonders and amazement of his Love Spell System work,He deliver results at his best in real spell casting,email kizzekpespells@outlook.com for relationship matters.

    [Reply]

  • Roy

    It’s highly illegal for his gf to steal his passport. She could do time in an Italian Federal prison for that. I’m a western guy in China 5 years now..but I didn’t come to play. I came to marry my true love… a beautiful Chinese woman and I did.. We’re doing great. My advice for western guys that want to come to China to play. Don’t. It’ll bite you in the behind…hard! And my advice for Chinese girls that want a good western man…make sure the foreigner has a legitimate reason for being in China…and I don’t mean teaching English (unless they’re a certified teacher working with a real Chinese and Western school). Beware of the westerner that says he teaches English but has no ties with any western school or no plans to marry a woman here. He is probably doing one of two things (or both)…running from his country’s law enforcement or only wanting to play.

    [Reply]

    icarusty Reply:

    Sucks when a white guy doesn’t get what he wants, huh

    [Reply]

  • Emiliano Babarah

    Oh my God, I’m so glad to tell everyone the real thing that happen to me…My name is EMILIANO BABARAH. If i refuse to share this testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much whom might have similar problems, March 16th about something 7:23pm after taken our dinner my husband got crazy started calling a lady name Melisa I love you, i was so mad and started crying like a baby…then my husband left home for the idiot called Melisa, and never return back home then i believed when he uthen nderstand his self he will surly come back to apology, but instead he left me So i complained to my friend she told me she was having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to DR ORIOMON who specializes in bringing back broken homes and broken marriages DR ORIOMON cast a spell for me in May 4th surprisingly my husband came home May 6th apologizing that i should forgive him that it will never happen again, i was so glad and gave the thanks to DR ORIOMON who save my marriage, if you are having similar problem you can contact him and His email address is (oriomonspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband.

    Thanks EMILIANO BABARAH_USA\\

    [Reply]

  • ehisnoni

    everything you need is on it and more. It has great spells and fabulously believable insights into what you could have help with, for yourself or someone else. I ordered a spell for my partners mum. A lovely lonely old lady not really into this kind of thing really and treated it as a bit of a laugh. She was amazed at the results she got when she asked for a fellow companion to while away her time with. She met the kindest old gentleman last year and they have not been parted since. She often tells her friends they met through witchcraft but no-one believes her she laughs all the time. They are so happy together it so is, a beautiful time of their lives. They are both76and 69yrs respective, It does not matter really if they believe it or not. It worked. which dodogodssolution@yahoo.com did, The magic brought their lives together and magic has stayed in their lives up until this point. I don’t think I have seen two people of the older generation be so happy. I want to thank Dr odod, your reputation precedes you, Talented and very gifted Greatest Respect. dodogodssolution@yahoo.com

    [Reply]

  • RUTH

    Thank you dr kizzekpe from kizzekpespells@outlook.com you are the best spell caster that i have ever seen in my life the spell you casted for me have work very perfectly my ex boyfriend who left me for over 3weeks now is back and apologizing for me to come back to him that he is very sorry for the pain he cost me and i am so happy Doctor your spell is nice and make me fill alive again i will keep sharing you good work all over the world about the good spell you cast for me to get Alex back and i will also give your email address to everybody who is in need of help like you told me that you can cast a spell to bring ex back, Money spell, Protection spell, lotto spell, Good job spell, You want to have a baby spell, Love spell, and many other spell you told me you can cast for me if i need them i hope you will find a place to help other so they can give testimonies like me. Doctor kizzekpe please help others many people are having problem try to get help from people but there is nobody like you to help them solve their problem like you do Dr kizzekpe if anyone need the help of this nice man contact him via this email kizzekpespells@outlook.com best regards to Dr kizzekpe your child Ruth from USA

    [Reply]

  • QueGee

    Hah! As an avid traveler who used to work for a major arts organization, I can relate to having to bear witness to others’ indiscretions.

    If anyone is looking for a breath of fresh air from a foreigner who doesn’t behave in the way you described in this post, check out former English teacher Tony Brashunas’ “Double Happiness: One Man’s Tale of Love, Loss and Wonder on the Long Roads of China”.

    [Reply]

  • BRUNELDA NATO

    Probably all this testimony you read about spell casting online are spam right?And yeah some are spam some think all of them are spam which is totally not bad and i also know some believe spell casting really works but have not been able to find the right one. Well i think i found the right spell caster Metodo. I know he is real not cos he helped me but because i was there in his temple i Have seen him and his temple and i tell you it can’t get more really that what am writing now. I know you may want to know why and what lead me to contact a spell caster i am a south African woman here in south African as a matter of fact in Africa having a male child is like the most important thing in a marriage and it turned out that i am married to a very traditional man as in a he believes the male child carry the family name on and on but the females get married and change there name which is true. I were married for six years and i had no male child for him. Maybe friends and family filled his head with a lot of things like i don’t have a male child for him and as a result he need to get a divorce and get another wife that can bear him a male child. I always thought the people that filled his head with this ideas where is family and friends the people that i smile and dine with. The very people who ought to have advice him rightly. I never found out if they where involved in wanting to ruin life and my marriage. Not because i could not find out but cost i didn’t want to develop hatred for them cos i will always get to see them and it is not really healthy seeing the faces of people you hate. At that time, i mean before i knew my husband got himself a lover i was paranoid about him having a lover cos our lives changed a lot he starting coming home late he wouldn’t touch me any more and even he started avoiding me in our home making up excuses to stay all day in his study room doing nothing and telling me his need something off to clear his head. We had fights all the time i brought up the matter if he was see someone else. Maybe he got tired of lying i don’t know he finally asked for a divorce. A divorce my family saw him through his university and got him a got job i told myself and now he’s asking me for a divorce cos i don’t a male child yet for him. He was ready to let go of his three beautiful daughters he asked that i take them along. Maybe he was a real f**l and didn’t know what he had and maybe he didn’t deserve someone like me but one thing was crystal clear to me i was still in love with him and i wanted a complete family for my kid that and the fact that i raised him from the gutter i didn’t care about any of his problem when i married him and i forgot to say my father never approved our marriage but still i jumped into it thinking we are going to have each other forever. Though we are still together now but its cos of the spell i had metodo cast on him to make him see how much he needs me in this life. When i contacted metodo he asked that i get the materials for the spell which i did and delivered the materials to him in person that is to say i came in contact with him. I was to return in to his temple in 7 seven day and within those seven day he gave me a blessed a red candle asking that i command and say whatever i wanted every night within those seven days which i did on the seventh day when i returned to metodo temple he gave a harmless powerful substance with instruction on how to use it. This might seem like fiction or lie or what ever you lucky reads may think but deep down you know it true you just looking for a way not to get involved. I ve got my husband back and my family life couldn’t be better thanks to the spell though i don’t have a male child for him at least his them lover bore him one. contact him with his email if you want his help metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com

    [Reply]

  • Richard

    I married a chinese girl and we settled in the states. When we visited her family she told me her younger sister liked me. I said thats cool and nothing else. That night her sister came to our room. My wife and her exchanged looks and my wife left. Her sister told me not to worry and relax. We had the greatest sex that night. She left when I was asleep and my wife came back. In the morning I asked her how could you let her do that. She said there are no good men in China. A couple of months later my wife informed me her sister was pregnant and moving in with us here. I now live with 2 beautiful women and we have 5 children. Life is great in the north east.

    [Reply]

    icarusty Reply:

    Disgusting.

    Amazing how asian women can say there are no good men in China, unless they’ve been through all 800 million of them. Of course they are using ingrained stereotypes they have OF THEIR OWN RACE, and in turn having ingrained positive stereotypes of white men.

    [Reply]

  • lizzy benjamin

    Hello I am lizzy , am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But when i met a friend that introduced me to DR Agbalagba the great messenger to the oracle of DR Agbalagba healing home,I narrated my problem to DR Agbalagba about how my ex Husband left me and my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in IRELAND were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR Agbalagba on his personal email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: agbalagbatemple@yahoo.com and your problem will be solve…..

    [Reply]

  • lizzy benjamin

    Hello I am lizzy , am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But when i met a friend that introduced me to DR Agbalagba the great messenger to the oracle of DR Agbalagba healing home,I narrated my problem to DR Agbalagba about how my ex Husband left me and my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in IRELAND were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR Agbalagba on his personal email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: agbalagbatemple@yahoo.com and your problem will be solve..

    [Reply]

  • lizzy benjamin

    Hello I am lizzy , am out here to
    spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I was
    going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last
    month, But when i met a friend that introduced me to DR Agbalagba the great
    messenger to the oracle of DR Agbalagba healing home,I narrated my problem to
    DR Agbalagba about how my ex Husband left me and my two kids and also how i
    needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come
    to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side
    effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex
    Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids
    before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for
    forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in IRELAND
    were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed
    that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR Agbalagba on his
    personal email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big
    for him to solve..Contact him direct on: agbalagbatemple@yahoo.com and your
    problem will be solve……………

    [Reply]

  • davisha

    I have a few testimony to share with you all about myself, I was in a relationship with this guy and for 3years and we were about getting married when we both have misunderstanding with each other and he ask me for a divorce and we both agreed and after four months I head that he was having an affair with one of my closest friend and I was very upset and worried so a friend of my advice me and told me if I still love my ex and if I really want to have him back so I told her yes, and she ask me to contact Dr ZAKI the spell caster and I did although I never believe on spell so he gave me something when he was casting the spell and ask me to say my wishes on it and after the casting of the spell a receive a phone call from my ex and was ask me at which I did and now we are back together again I’m so happy and I wish not to ever have this mistake again in my life. I will also advice anyone with this kind of issue to contact him for help he is really nice on phone and always there to answer you question giving you the good advice that you need. his email is dr.zakispellhome@gmail.com

    [Reply]

  • icarusty

    So judging from the comments, we’ve determined that asian women prefer white men because white men are apparently more loyal than local asian men.

    But let’s go over the facts: white men cheat on their partners back home whilst in the far east.
    But asian men also cheat on their partners whilst at home in the far east.

    But white men also cheat on their partners whilst at home. But asian men do not cheat on their partners – certainly nowhere near to the extent white men do in the east – whilst they are in the west.

    Therefore white men are more of a sexual pest than asian men are. Yet asian women disregard facts in the pursuit of “being white” – and therefore eradicating their own identity.

    [Reply]

    Yu_Suk_Kok Reply:

    What do you expect of such a despicable, immoral culture? The inferiority complex here is MASSIVE. They hate themselves.

    [Reply]

  • bejarano

    I think what we are seeing is big city behaviour (Shanghai, Beijing, Guangzhou, Shenzhen, Chongqing and one or two other places not mentioned) where western men can get away with this kind of attitude, I would like to see any horny Italian ‘love and leave ’em’ up in Henan or Gansu, there would only be negative consequences with nothing good coming out of the situation.

    There are good and bad everywhere, I have a girl chasing me who is half her age and from a rich family who is about to study abroad. She isn’t after me for a ticket out of the country because she is going next year anyway, she doesn’t need my money because her family has a damn sight more than I do so there must be other reasons. I personally think for some Chinese women – marrying outside their social stratas frees them from family obligations – such as towards any prospective mother in law – some of these old ladies bully their daughters in law badly and wives who marry into families are down on the totem pole when it comes to their place in the hierarchy.

    That is just one reason, but I think is the majority of cases, the attraction towards western men is genuine but it seems most Chinese women wouldn’t date one for many reasons, the moral fibre of the western male here in China doesn’t seem to be that high but hey – arseholes are back home too, right?

    [Reply]

  • topcommenter

    When the women find out he’s broke life isn’t going to be so great.

    [Reply]

  • john ricks

    What about female hypergamy?

    The truth is, most western men living abroad have been driven there due to even land whales demanding the equivalent of Christian Grey. Just lol at Sara Jaaksola, from a country that provides the best social benefits in the world, from even criticizing foreign men from countries like the US from expatriating. What’s it like to have to deal with rejections from fat girls with a 25+ BMI, even when the man is in shape himself, or at least at a normal weight? And has a decent job with health coverage? As a Finnish woman, you have the best life on Earth. Equality, feminism, kela, social welfare, yet you see fit to criticize men who wish they had the *chance* at dating woman who had at least has a healthy weight. Yet you, posing in your wedding photographs, have the balls to criticize men who are life long single men, incels even, who must deal with feminism and western media nonsense. I can smell your entitlement from oceans away.

    [Reply]

  • john ricks

    LOL I’m blocked, what is a good western man? FUCK THESE WESTERN CUNTS

    [Reply]

  • LaoYangBuChiJiYa

    This has nothing to do with reality and everything to do with racist paranoia. Chinese men cheat even more than “Westerners” do. According to a recent study, 24% of married Chinese guys admitted to having cheated on their wives within the last 12 months. Not over the course of their relationship–within the last year. It’s common knowledge that China has the highest rate of infidelity of any nation on earth, yet they somehow have the gall to criticize others for doing exactly the same, despite the fact that not even the most “open” western nations come anywhere close to this level of deception and debauchery. In fact, the truth has very little to do with the discourse of the Chinese people, for whenever it comes into conflict with their grotesquely distorted preconceptions it is discarded in favor of ignorant xenophobic hysterics. Reactionary, asphyxiating narrow-mindedness is central to the Chinese national character. These are people who travel abroad and refer to their host country’s residents as “foreigners” without being able to grasp the irony of the situation. In fact, most Chinese are incapable of even grasping concepts like”irony” because it requires the conceptualization of there being a point of view that is separate from their own. “Outsiders can’t treat our women like garbage!” Is what they say. “Only we can treat our women like garbage!” Is the real emotion behind this protest however. Not any enlightened concern over safeguarding others. Newcomers might find this lax cultural attitude towards cheating hard to believe in such a seemingly prudish and repressed society In fact, it is only to be expected from the giant mess of hypocrisy that is New China.

    P.S. Watch as I get swarmed with illogical red-herring arguments from butt-hurt Chinese guys. In their culture, they don’t understand that being right comes from being able to support a logical argument with evidence. They are raised to believe that if more people agree with them for whatever reason then they are right. As a result they tend to result to ridiculous arguments that are not relevant to the discussion at hand.

    [Reply]

  • Ethan Camel

    My name is Ethan Camel from USA am 39 years old i got married at the age of 22 i have only Two child and i was living happily .After six year of my marriage my husband behavior became so strange and I don’t really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dream’s of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail, i cry and cry seeking for help, i discussed it with my best friend Linda and she promise to help me. She told me of a man called DR Shadow, she told me he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love and Cancer issues he cannot solve and she told me how he has help countless numbers of people in restoring their relationship etc. I was really convince, I quickly contacted his cell phone +2348166292265 or email address at drshadow31@gmail.com . I explain all my problem to him, he told me that I should not worry that all my problems will be fine and now am very happy I with my husband and my family.

    [Reply]

  • Karl

    he was italian ! his character should be obvious !

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  • tukkata

    i am thai, and i went to china twice and hardly saw a couple of a chinese woman and a western man. chinese women in streets are with chinese men, not western men.

    [Reply]

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  • My parents and grandparents like White people, but they would not approve of Chinese girls having a relationship with them. They think it is proper for Chinese to stick with Chinese. I think that many Chinese women feel attracted to White men because Chinese traditional culture has suffered a lot of huge blows, and so younger people do not feel as strongly connected with their culture as their ancestors. I guess that it is understandable. At the same time, I do not think this should be encouraged.

    [Reply]