I bet most of the things about being a mother are the same all over the world. The huge amount of love and worry it entails. But of course there are a few differences as well.
Being a foreign mother means that many of the things I do seem a bit weird to local moms. I didn’t sit the month after giving birth, I took my baby out even during the “cold” Winter days. Baby led weaning isn’t a huge thing here now, so a toddler stuffing her self spaghetti by hand gets a few looks.
At the same time it frees me to be the mother I want to be. I’m different anyway so doing strange things is just normal for waiguoren in the eyes of locals. Any odd comment can be brushed away by “oh we Finns just do things this way”, as most haven’t been out of the country or at least not that familiar with Finland.
Another huge thing about being an expat mother in China are the ayis! Having a full time live-in ayi 5 days a week is what keeps me going! Childcare in the safety of our home, cooking and cleaning as a bonus. It makes haggling work and family so much easier by having a good nanny.
When it comes to family relations, in Finland moms seem to be able to do what they want but also receive little help from grandparents or extended family. In China family is always eager to help, but also brings their advice and opinions to the mix.
Being a mother for a mixed trilingual (at least!) daughter is going to be full of adventures, surprises and challenges. Her world is so different from the one I grew up in, I hope I’m able to guide her the best I can.
This Mother’s Day I’m very grateful to my own mother who has always encouraged me to follow my dreams.
And to my mother-in-law who is surprisingly open minded and tries her best even though her daughter-in-law might be a bit difficult at times.
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone!