Finding a new ayi

So it was only a few months ago when I wrote how to find a nanny and here I am again, writing how to find a new nanny! It turned out that one thing even harder than finding a good nanny, is to keep her. We had such a nice nanny for Anna who lived with us and was slowly becoming a part of our family, but then her own family wanter her back. In China decisions are often made as a family unit, so when they wanted her to move back to her hometown, there was little to be done.

It was before our Summer holiday in Finland, so the timing wasn’t too bad, but still I wasn’t looking forward of going on the hun again and have our daughter to get used yet another caretaker. Luckily this time I had my old connections from previous search and we quickly set up meeting with two possible ayis or nannies.

We first decided on a nanny that had experience working for foreigners, but after working for two days cleaning our house, she made up a family situation excuse to leave for a week. Then she came back, washed the dishes and told me she isn’t coming back to work. She could have done that over the phone, but guess she was too embarrassed to play us like that. Probably she wasn’t planning on coming back at all.

So we went with the option number two, which in the end really should have been our first option! She has quite a lot of experience and she is a nice person. For our daughter who is going to be 1-year-old in a month, it was a big adjustment, but we took our time and let them get used to each other slowly. Now I can go out and work without having to worry how she is doing at home.

For me as a Finn it’s a little bit awkward having someone at home taking care of my child, cooking, cleaning and washing my clothes. I’m shy at telling her what to do, but little by little learning how to help her do her job well. How would I assume her to know the way of the house, if I didn’t tell her?

My husband pointed out that with ayis and nannies it’s best to give clear instructions. For example mopping the floor, it’s best that I show her how I like it done, so she knows what our expectations are. We have actually created a family WeChat group where we can send messages during the work hours and stay connected.

The Chinese word ayi doesn’t only mean a housekeeper, but an auntie. She is living with us five days per week and for our daughter she is the third adult in the house and an important person in our lives. I hope that this good start will continue and we can live and work together for years to come.

Things to remember when hiring an ayi or nanny:

  • Use your existing connections and find someone through recommendations, here international WeChat groups are a big help, someone always knows someone
  • Communicate your wants and needs clearly in order to find the right match to your family
  • After starting to work, give clear instructions to your ayi so she can clean or babysit the way that you want, don’t expect her to read your mind or guess what you want from her
  • Be fair and allow her public holidays, but be strict to follow working days and times. If you give too much leeway, she might start using that and want more and more free time from work

What’s your experience in hiring help in China? What should I pay attention to in order to keep her?

  • gordon chung

    just curious. I thought Chinese grandparents love to babysit the grandkids. Doesn’t your husband’s parents want to do it ????


    Sara Jaaksola Reply:

    My in-laws are already taking care of one grandchild and two at the same time would be too much, my father-in-law is also still working. That being said we prefer a nanny who does things the way we want. The way or raising kids can be quite different between generations.