Living abroad and away from my family

In Stockholm, Sweden, with my family 2019

Last time I wrote about why I moved to China and enjoy living here. Even I like living in China and don’t plan to move back to Finland in the near future, it doesn’t make it any easier to be away from my family.

I admit I’m not the best person in keeping touch with my family members and relatives. I might go long times without being in touch. Though I have to say it seems my whole family is like that. Due to that we are not very actively in touch with each other and it bothers me the older I get.

When I was younger I wasn’t missing my family that much and it was easy to visit Finland only once a year, or even once every two years like I did once. But since I had a child and becoming older, I start to value my family more too and wish to be closer to them even if that is online.

During living aboard I have missed countless birthdays and celebrations. I have missed my parents 60th birthdays and relative’s weddings. My father and brother missed my wedding.

Now my sister had a baby this year and she is already 6 months old and we don’t know when we are able to see her for the first time. With babies and small kids it’s hard to build a strong relationship with them online. So I worry that I will be a distant person in my niece’s life, same as my family unfortunately is a little distant for my daughter.

Now that my daughter is almost 5 years old, she remembers more about our trips to Finland and she has asked many times during this year when we can go to Finland. I can only tell her that we need to wait for the virus to “go away” before we can visit next time. It’s hard to see when your child is only closer with one set of grandparents who live close, and can’t have that same relationship with her grandparents in Finland.

One might ask, why we don’t move to Finland then? But it’s not that simple, as a multi-cultural family we are always going to be away from someone’s family. When choosing where to live there are also many aspects to consider, work and career being a big part of it too.

This year has been especially difficult as we don’t know when we can go back to Finland next time. Last Spring I thought it could be Christmas, but now we are planning for next Summer, just hoping that things are going to be better then.